Miss Universe
 

You didn't miss terribly much (yes, I, sadly, watched it too). Not like Miss America where there's a chance of catching actual cellulite. Miss Switzerland had a distractingly large belly button (what causes that?).

I could not believe Miss USA advanced at all--she had this really strange stiff-kneed walk that was probably designed to keep her thighs and butt from noticeably jiggling. It just made her seem like a robot. A thick robot, even.

I was a little disappointed at the homogeneity of the final 5--all dark-haired, and four out of five Latin American.

tm

Miss Universe
 

Did you make up any drinking games for it?

Deep Throat
 

Not exactly what you picture when you hear "Deep Throat" but, finally out of the bag.
http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/i/msnbc/Co...roat_1005a.jpg

Miss Universe
 

I didn't find any of the blondes that they picked for the final 15 particularly attractive. Switzerland was meh. Greece was meh and I knew she wouldn't advance when she picked basically a bikini for her formal dress. Norway was hot, but not blonde (surprise!). I thought USA looked a bit heavy compared to the others also. Is she Miss USA or Miss America? I can't keep straight which competition is the feeder for Miss Universe nowadays. Miss Canada was the best looking of the bunch IMO. I was surprised that last year's Miss Universe (from Australia), while certainly cute and pretty, was not gorgeous.

Deep Throat
 

Christopher Walken?

My, he's put on some weight and age.

Miss Universe
 

Yum. This would be the opposite of "No Exit" for me.

ciel, c'est les autres.

Alors, continuons...

Miss Universe
 

Miss USA is the feeder for Miss Universe. Miss America fed into the now-defunct (I think) Miss World competition. I'm kind of embarrassed that I know that. Miss USA looked to have gained some weight since the Miss USA contest (which I thought she shouldn't have won--the first runner-up was better-looking).

Last year the final two were Australia and USA, both dark blond sporty types.

I thought Miss Canada was prettiest, too. And she definitely should win something for having the most figure-flattering evening gown. Hourglass = good.

tm

Deep Throat
 

Is that picture from the 70s? I really hope so, with those glasses, but I'm scared it's not.

Where's Flinty? I need someone to hold me.

Miss Universe
 

As AC/DC once said, she was knocking me out with those american thighs.

Which one of the 10 finalists had the arms that looked like the alien in Close Encounters? Either her hips were inches below her TITS, or her arms were meant to be legs 3 and 4.

Things that suck
 

In a series.

Getting sprite when you distinctly hit "diet coke" on the machine.

Other than that, I got nothin. Still recovering from a weekend of drama and debauchery in New Orleans.

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

From gorgeous to freakish, in four short years:

http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/...Tylo,%20Hunter

http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/...Tylo,%20Hunter

And get another look at these terrible implants (I don't have words for the man standing with her):

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...nandhunter.jpg

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

She is a bit freakish, though still not bad for 43.

Miss Universe
 

http://www.theconnection.org/content...2cheese176.jpg

http://www.americanphoto.co.jp/pages...Plans-6188.jpg

http://www.linngroveiowa.org/1910%205%20Girls.gif

TM

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

Still, you get what you paid for. She looks like she bought those at WalMart. And the guy looks like some soap opera guy.

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

She's only 43? Holy shit. She looks like half the women on my mother's tennis team. And they're all in their 60's.

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

If those are implants, they are just WEIRD. How is it that they are saggy?

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

They're not saggy. They're 6 inches too low.

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

I agree. Horrible for 43. Unless she is "43" for publicity purposes, which actually means 50 in human years.

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

Goodgawd! That's Hunter Tylo? What happened to her? She used to look so normal.
http://www.wma.com/hunter_tylo/imgs/..._Tylo_main.jpg

eta, the guy is Ridge Forrester. Great soap name.

A Gift
 

Its "FBetty". I know bc I invented this.

A Gift
 

I think "FBetty" looks retarded. So I invented the new and imporved "FB Betty"...

You know, like Coke and Pepsi.

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

I would cry if I looked like that. If she is in fact only 43 (or even 50), she would certainly look better now if she had just taken really good care of her skin and figure rather than gone to some hack. And surely it's easier to mourn beauty lost to the passage of time than to the incompetence of a plastic surgeon. At least when you get old and don't pump your face full of shit, you still look like yourself -- just not your young self. As a soap actress, she must be terrified of the HDTV revolution. Soft lighting and gauzy lenses won't do the trick anymore.

Oh Dear
 

1) Nicole Kidman only became scary skinny in the past year or two. APparnelty a diet of nothing plus sushi. I read in one of those rags that friends were concerned.

2) A visible collarbone = too skinny? Thats one of the sexiest parts of a woman. If your collarbone isnt showing, you might just be a Fat.

A Gift
 

For some reason, the red and white version of your avatar makes me think you are Alex de Large.

(That does not make sense. Wookies live on Endor.)

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

Even then.

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

You get no argument from me. I worry for AdL. How old is the wife and has she had her first facelift yet?

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

This is what Steven Tyler would look like with implants.

Who's the Robert Evans imitator?

A Gift
 

FB Betty misses the whole point. *sigh*

So I am reading this book called "The Straight Girls Guide to Sleeping with Chicks" which is kinda funny. Anyway, she gives a shout out to all the "spinsters, bitches and sluts". I thought of us.

Miss Universe
 

There is a Darwinian basis for the ratio? Who would have thought.

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

Is that a banana in his pocket or is he just happy to see her shelf?

A Gift
 

Most presumptuous. You cannot invent over another's invention, very declasse. The declassiest! I invented that. LOL!@

A Gift
 

Something is very off about that red and white avatar, I agree. Though I never got why BnB went with that as an avatar in the first place. I don't get how it represents her. Maybe something more Boca like a tennis bracelet?

A Gift
 

Like this better?

http://img.zazzle.com/dzn/AE3101F6-B...sz125_qt80.jpg

A Gift
 

I think that would be perfect.

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

She's 29, and no plastic surgery. Why the fuck am I suddenly the poster boy for men who puch PS on their wives? I think it looks freakish, especially when done by a hack (like that Tylo woman above, or Jocylen Wildenstein). Sheesh!

ETA: Jocelyn Wildenstein

http://www.8bm.com/diatribes/volume0...ildenstein.jpg

A Gift
 

Now I'm feeling inspired. How about
http://www2.filmweb.no/multimedia/ar...min_16044f.jpg ?

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

Your answer:

What do you think 43 looks like? You expect your wife to look like that in less than 15 years? Or will you have traded in for a younger model by then?

Miss Universe
 

your mother wore a necklace to call attention to her cleavage and the point was to make her date think of buttocks.

A Gift
 

I think Atticus is going to be offended.

Maybe you could put a tennis bracelet on the cartoon characgter with the cleavage?

Another one from the bad plastic surgery files
 

Is that wretched lip liner or is it the scars from the lip implants? This is the most frightful looking woman I have ever seen. Who is it?