40 Killed in Series of Bomb Blasts in Mumbai
 

Greatest. Post. Ever.

Cupcakes
 

fuck you dimwit- fringey has more value in the portions of her posts typed by her left index finger than your entire body of posts. don't you dare ever try to dog her.

40 Killed in Series of Bomb Blasts in Mumbai
 

w-a-t-e-r- how blind are you?

Cupcakes
 

they don't eat cake.

Cupcakes
 

dude. you're not going to get laid. chill.

Cupcakes
 

I note for the record that you did not deny eating cat food.

Maybe by being an A student, fringey, I'd win your love for me.
 

Not Bob's pearls of wisdom on the topic of sex in high school.

Because my life experiences can be broadly generalized into universal truths, I thought that I would share with you the definitive skinny (a/k/a 4-1-1) on sex in high school.

The truth is, for those of us guys who are Not Sebby (coltrane, as we know, is Sebby minus 5 years), there was very little actual sex* in high school. Yes, there were many assertions of sex being had, but said assertions were, in the term of art used at PHS circa 19XX, bullshit.

1. He pinned me. The Pretty Lady has pointed out the major source of high school sex -- the "but I love him" exception. Upside for the guys -- you get sex. Duh. Downside for the guys -- you have to wait a long time to get it, and you have to be on your best behavior while waiting. 3-4 months? In Podunkville, it was more like 8-12 months.

One of the few examples of high school sex I am familiar with fell into this category. And, oddly enough, it was not because the dude told me that I know for a matter of fact that the left tackle and second chair flute made whoopee -- no, it was because the second chair flute's mother caught them, and she worked with my mother. My mother was less discreet than the football player. Ironic, no?

2. Have another beer, honey. Date rape. That's what we would call it now, anyway. Usually by senior boys of freshmen or 8th grade girls at summer parties. I witnessed the prelude to this more often than I am comfortable now remembering, as laughing older boys dragged stumbling girls off to bedrooms. I wish now that I had the balls to stop it the times that I could have.

3. It doesn't count if he goes to a different school. Girls at PHS were terrified of being called a slut by other girls at PHS. However, if you hooked up with someone who went to a different school (that you met via after school jobs, summer programs, etc.), well, chances are that Vivian in homeroom wouldn't find out.

4. The Summer of 42. A college freshman, working as a cocktail waitress at the Steak and Ale where a high school junior bussed tables just might be willing, in return for the busboy buying the blow, to give said busboy a weekend of mindblowing sex.

5. Little sister, don't you do what your big sister done. A very dangerous dynamic, but one classmate of mine was able to take advantage of some sibling rivalry. Those girls hated each other, and the younger one found a wonderful (for my friend) way to piss her older sister off. He still has a small scar above his eye from where the softball bat hit him.

*"Sex" as defined by an act of genital contact with another person. As ncs pointed out, boys in high school have lots o sex. Just not with other people.

40 Killed in Series of Bomb Blasts in Mumbai
 

Okay. Maybe you weren't drunk this afternoon.

Maybe by being an A student, fringey, I'd win your love for me.
 

You left off number 6: Sex with the actual slutty girl, who, despite being quite attractive and smarter than the average bear, didn't seem to have the self esteem to believe that boys liked her unless she did everything imaginable in bed. Or maybe she was just the slutty girl who actually liked sex.

Maybe by being an A student, fringey, I'd win your love for me.
 

Pretty in Pink?

Anyway, those who were branded and wore the Scarlet "S" at PHS tended to have more of a reputation for sex than actual experience with it. And before you tell me that you were Duckie (or Andrew McCarthy's character -- wasn't it Blaine, or something like that?), and allege that you had sex with such a girl, I will remind you that Universal Truths are extrapolated from my experiences, not yours, laddie.

They want to touch me, I never let them.
 

I topped 100K, not by a lot -- 110K, or something like that. The odometer was off by ~7% because I had non-standard tires, so I guess it was closer to 120K. There were some long road trips in that truck for a while, but in the last few years I didn't dare go too far from home in it, or drive it anywhere warm (no AC + 2 doors = Jack a dull boy), or put my kids in it (see Hank's comments, only substitute safety for eco-awareness). It needed a new transmission in 1993 or 1994, but that was the only major work that I recall. The transmission died in rural Wyoming, which was not particularly convenient. The engine never had much power, and did not get stronger with age, so lately it labored up hills. Highway speed got to be a challenge best faced with plenty of momentum. My plan was to keep it until it was 25 years old and put Cal. antique plates on it, but reality intruded.

Cupcakes
 

http://www.cupcakeroyale.com/store/i...yvelvet532.jpg

You are sick.

Maybe by being an A student, fringey, I'd win your love for me.
 

I know you said these are universalities derived from your experience but I'm still piping in with an additional fact. Where I went to school, the "Bill Clinton Rule" applied: blowjobs/handjobs were not "sex" and other forms of oral sex seemingly did not exist. This kind of contact fell into the "third base" category and you were a virgin until you had the pregnancy-risking kind of sex.

I'll take "Crushes Of Youth" for $500, please, Alex.
 

Damn! I didn't realise that mutherfucker bit it, npi. He was Cleatus on Good Times too.

[true story] [outable alert] I remember the first time I saw "Let Me Tell Ya' Bout White Chicks", the big screen release, in the summer of '84, second "date" with a freshman chick from College Park. When John-Anthony's character hit the screen, I said, "Phucking aye, that's Cleatus from Good Times". She disagreed. We bet. I got the anal for the first time that night off that bet. [eta: "GOT"="GAVE HER", NTTAWWT WITH BEING PEGGED, RIGHT HANK?] [/outable alert][/true story]

Whew, memories. Thanks Slave. Speaking of Greg and Walter, is
Tom Byron* still around? He was no John-Anthony B., but that bastard could act too!!!

*I think he got his start on an episode of Silver Spoons, no?

Cupcakes
 

WTF!?!? He's over there too?? I thought he retired. Where the hell do you hacks find the time for all of this shite?