Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

Hey, ho. Let's go.

ETA: We need a brazen name. A bold, brazen name.

Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

How about Randy?

Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

Prancing fucking unicorns?

ETA I looked this up and realized I was the person who initially said it. Go figure.

Paris
 

The ironic thing is that the judge allegedly made an example of her - giving her hard time rather than the option of home detention or community service - because of her celeb status, but then she is getting home detention because her celebrity is allowing her to get a high-paid shrink to claim impending nervous breakdown. Every other criminal can't claim "But jail gives me the shivers!" Just ask the fat cryer in "The Shawshank Redemption."

Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

I kind of like it the way it is. Like Mr Toad's Wild Ride.

Except I object to Burger calling me a Ho.

In the alternative, I'd suggest "A Black Hole of Happiness".

Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

Enter, stage right, giggling Australian.

Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

I think this was mine too, and based on this evidence, I totally rock.

Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

I suggest "Here, but for a pointed question during a conference call, goes Hank."

Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

You have officially taken over the "board terminology creator" position from the Paigow. Congrats.

Paris
 

Ever hired a post sentencing consultant? There are guys who worked in the Fed System who charge $3-5K retainers up front to get your client "maneuvered" into the better facilities. Not a bad second career for retired wardens/asst wardens. They basically guide you through all the little administrative tricks to get prisoners into as optimal a surrounding as one can get. I assume they have them in the state system also, which is probably how Paris got herself out of this mess. I can't see a shrink's report being able to spring her alone. Somebody cashed in a favor here.

2. But "practical gift" also extends to the changing needs of the parents during the pregnancy. I'd get the $10 rattle and a gallon of JWB.

I was thinking gift certificate for a massage for the mom, and something cheap for the baby.

Yeah, because the baby won't care. But maybe a couples massage would be even better, since they're also celebrating their nuptials.

tm

elevator etiquette
 

You're on an elevator with two other people, standing in the middle. One gets off. Do you continue to stand in the middle, or do you move to the other side?

If she thinks they are pressed for cash for baby stuff, maybe buy something relatively expensive at the store where the registry is, and include the gift receipt. That way if the parents have already gotten e.g. the car seat or, uh, other expensive baby-related item, they can use the gift as a gift certificate? I don't know. Sometimes I'm not comfortable giving gift cards in denominations that are significantly higher than most gifts cost, because it seems ostentatious. I guess getting a bigger/more expensive present is also ostentatious. Are breast pumps smallish and unassuming looking?

If I think that the couple will be well-supplied and most of their friends aren't able to afford much, I usually go with a gift about the size others will give. If they're probably strapped and most friends can't afford much, I try to sneak in something bigger because having a baby or whatever is hard enough when you have all the stuff you need.