New Fashion Board
 

We're starting a new thread to make it faster to load.

Enjoy.

Contest Rules
 

Reposting over here so it is easy to move forward.

As I noted yesterday we are having a contest.

It is as follows:

Pick a song, make a parody. It has to be somehow clearly related to the fashion board. You may use a parody you posted for the first time on Lawtalkers already, but you may not use one that you already did from any other location.

The deadline is noon next Friday October 10. Post your entries here, and I will repost them the day of the contest on a separate board.

The members will then vote on the best one. If there are too many entries the mods and admins will choose the best 5 or so for the members to vote on.

If there is a tie after voting, the Admins will make the final decision.

Prizes:

First Prize 50 dollars towards winner's choice of the following:

Gift Certificate to Amazon.com
Gift Certificate to a sex toy shop
Law Crossing membership
Legal Authority services

Second Prize 25 dollars towards winner's choice of any of the above.

Please note if an admin or mod wishes to enter that is fine, he or she will be precluded from choosing the top 5 or voting in the tie break, should that become necessary.

If you have any questions, post them here, pm me or email info@lawtalkers.com

Nothing to ass...
 

I just wanted to be on the first page of the FB 2d. I think that's FB cool.

Nothing to ass...
 

Actual empirical proof that thrills come more cheaply the older one gets.

sf

Caped Horn Mauled
 

Roy Horn, of the Vegas cat act Fischbacher & Horn, has been mauled by Montecore, one of the act's white tigers.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...fe_magician_dc


How long do you suppose Montecore has been waiting for this opportunity?

Caped Horn Mauled
 

I find the entire story suspect based on the fact that they claim it was his 59th birthday. That man is at least 70.

Caped Horn Mauled
 

Not long -- the newspaper story I saw said it was the tiger's first show.

edited to add:

This is basically what I read, and it doesn't say that it was the tiger's first show, so maybe I made it up.

Caped Horn Mauled
 

I know now is a time for prayer, and this may be a bit untimely, but I always thought Roy's skills on big cat training were over-rated. This is particularly true on defense. The media wanted to puff up a gypsy-type dark haired German big cat trainer, and over-hyped Roy's skills. The best German big cat trainers are still Aryan-type blonds.
Ask any Casino entertainment director up and down the strip who they'd rather have on guard against the big cats. They'd pick Zeigfried over Roy 4 or 5 to 1.
Same conditions, no way the cat gets to Zeiggy.

Caped Horn Mauled
 

I was reading this month's Vanity Fair this morning. Conicidentally, A.A. Gill's piece this month happened to be on Celine Dion's show in Vegas (a place, Gill writes, "where irony just curls up and dies."). Gill had this to say about S&R:

"And then, of course, there are Siegrfried and Roy. Celine, incidentally, is beginning to bear a distinct resemblance to Roy - or perhaps it's Siegfried. Siegfried and Roy put on, without hesitation, the very worst specialty show I've ever seen. They do tricks so ancient and so bad that they must think we were all born yesterday. But then, compared to them, we pretty much were.

"Visitors to Vegas adore Siegfried and Roy. They're like folk dancers. Or folk art. And you have to be one of the folk to get the point. What else could explain adults' watching a nonagenerian in a leather codpiece whipping a giant puppet dragon for no apparent reason.

"But everyone's really here to see the white carnivores, hoping against hope that just maybe, just once, the tables will turn and Siegfried and/or Roy will get to see the inside of a big pussy."

Well, you got your wish, A.A. I'd post a link, but I don't think I can. Buy the magazine to finish the article - this one article alone is worth the $4.50 cover price.

Caped Horn Mauled
 

Yeah yeah yeah, tiger attacks -- whatever. What I want to know is, how is Celine's show?

Caped Horn Mauled
 

I haven't seen it. But according to A.A. . . .

"Anyway, Celine finally comes on, and the audience drags itself away from itself and claps as best it can, with its hands full of napkins nestling pints of sticky cocktails and boxes of snacks to wardoff the 90 minutes of rumbly pangs.

"My guess is that most in this audience don't get out to live shows much. Just being here seems to be a jewel in some sort of bigger experience. Certainly Dion doesn't have to work hard to win them over. They're a sure thing. Not that it stops her - she doesn't so much project songs as implore them to leave her body. Those huge, overproduced, emotionally incontinent power ballads sound like the forced exorcism of goody-goody ghosts. You half expect - half wish - her head would swivel 360 degrees as that ungodly French-Canadian glottal accent sobs, "Could taste your sweet kisses, your arms open wide." For all her gym-tuned, dance-coached stagecraft, Dion still manages to look like the fat kid who won Weight-Watcher of the Year. Her body is corded and knotted with self-restraint. Her movements are over-rehearsed and picky-precise - more Prussian cheerleader than Martha Graham. She looks good for an age she won't actually reach for a decade and does that Vegas thing - begs. She begs the audience to love her with a naked, generalized, "I'm everybody's" sycophancy. There's more than a hint of bunny boiler, a manic desire to please and a smiley-implied nameless threat if we're not appreciative enough. In fact, her stage presence is a weird hybrid of Pinocchio and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The show finally sinks beneath the applause during an encore of Celine alone, howling on the deck of the Titanic. The audience troops out, stuffed but underwhelmed. Still grazing from tubs, hungry for the next gobbet of experience."

So, str8, was this your impression of Celine from your last Vegas trip?

P.S. Ty, meet me over on the PB and I'll quote the latest Hitchens article on Iraq.

The phrase "Prussian cheerleader" alone is worth the $4.50 cover price.

Agreed. I'm becoming a big Gill fan. The opening paragraphs of the article - which I will not quote here, freeloaders - are positively priceless. This issue is worth shoplifting.

Love,

VF

burning bright
 

Meanwhile, in other tiger news, a 400-pound Bengal tiger was evicted from a Harlem apartment. His friend the caiman had to go, too.

burning bright
 

We should re-name this thread the Animal Board.

Caped Horn Mauled
 

I said many prayers for Roy today, notwithstanding his sins, G-d made him and like all men he is weak of flesh. Also, let’s pray for the tiger too. G-d made all of his creatures as treasures and loves us all as His children, even big cats.

I saw Roy and Siegfried’s show many years ago in Vegas and seeing those magnificent tigers up close one gets the impression that perhaps such perversions of natural order were not quite in His plan. At times, even with my domesticated kitties, I fear that given the right opportunity they might see me more as a super-sized meal than a mom.

At the end of the day the tiger was just doing what comes naturally. And poor sweet natured Roy was just being a senseless human, flaunting the laws of nature in pursuit of the sins of riches and greedy exploitation. Part of me wonders if Roy didn’t have a sausage sandwiche before the show and perhaps the Cat smelled it off of his breathe. They have very acute olafactory senses.

burning bright
 

I blame you for the our shocking loss to Germany in the WWC. In more welcome sports news, an online gambling service, America's Line, is offering odds on who will replace Lisa Guerrero as MNF sideline reporter. Suzy Kolber and Michelle Tafoya are each at 5-1, while Melissa Stark is offered at 12-1. The smart money is on Kolber. The Guerrero debacle has been noted by the New York Times.

CHILLED
Hot chick backlash
From the New York Times:

Keith Olbermann, whose time at Fox Sports overlapped with newly hired Monday Night Football reporter Lisa Guerrero's, suggested that MNF announcers Al Michaels and John Madden "resign in protest" and that Guerrero "can pose in Maxim but can't come back into the credibility pool."

Guerrero declined to comment on the criticism.

http://www.azcentral.com/sports/chea...2main0628.html

I'm not holding my breath on this. Rush and Guerrero in the span of a week may be too much to hope for.

Caped Horn Mauled
 

The only "Celine" i met was a skinny washed-out blonde who charged me $20 for a bad lap-dance. I kicked her to the curb after one song and got me an eastern european brunette, who was a little hungrier for my cash, if ya catch my drift.

str8's on the new board, str8's on the new board

burning bright
 

It's well worth hoping for, though.

The new Rush-Free Countdown was glorious. I still miss Sterling, but having Michael Irvin grab Steve and Tom as he's talking is hilarious. They handled the controversy well on air, and Irvin hinted at what the NY papers had reported: Tom Jackson said on Wednesday "him or me" and ESPN made the right call.

Now, please, please, please let Lisa Guerrero say Peyton Manning is the result of the conservative media being desirous of a successful white quarterback.

Edited to add: check Ralph Wiley's Rush column in page 2: http://espn.go.com/page2/s/wiley/031003.html

Sorry Thrasher
 

"ATLANTA (AP) -- ATLANTA (AP) -- Atlanta Thrashers forward Dan Snyder died Sunday night, six days after he was involved in a horrific car crash with All-Star teammate Dany Heatley."

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/200...x.html?cnn=yes


Note the article includes a picture of the car. Which is pretty well destroyed.

burning bright
 

Are those odds for before the end of this season, or by next year?

Personally, I'll avoid her again by watching baseball tonight.

But I wouldn't take the bet on Melissa Stark--she just gave birth, so I doubt she's going to haul the little tyke around with her to games, lactation lover's hopes aside.

Not Amused
 

This discussion would be a lot more entertaining if Roy weren't in critical condition, and 250 people weren't out of jobs. Siegfried & Roy Show Canceled Indefinitely (AP article via Yahoo).

Caped Horn Mauled/ other wonders of modern medicine
 

I do not catch your drift I am afraid. She was hungry for your cash is a little too obtuse for me.

In other observations, I watched Inside THe Actor's Studio last night where my beloved CLint Eastwood was the guest. First off, may I just say that this is probably the only man over the age of fifty, much less, seventy, that I would gladly bang. I just love him and I have since I was first mesmerized by that laconic speech pattern at an early age. I realized that Clint has set the precendent for my physical type in men as well as for my placing of the voice in the top two or three most important things to me in terms of attraction.

But I also observed something else that was a little bizarre. His face lift has left him bearing a strong resemblance to Christopher Walken.

Not Amused
 

Aw, did you have tickets for this week's shows?

Seriously, these guys have done the show in Vegas for 35 years and Roy hit a tiger on the nose with a microphone when it failed to respond to commands.

Now I don't know much about lion and tiger taming, but that sounds like an darwin award recipe for disaster. I dare say Gunther Gable Williams was never mauled by one of his charges.

Aiming at the Wrong Girl
 

An arrest warrant has been issued for the Ben Affleck for threatening to kill an ex-girlfriend.

From peoplenews:

"We are not investigating_Mr Affleck for any crime,' the cops added, kindly turning a blind eye to serious offences such as Gigli and Pearl Harbor.

http://www.peoplenews.com/news/index.php?page=1&id=3047

Not Amused
 

I am fucking troubled about the fate of Montecore, who was only doing what a wild animal would do (which isnt acquiescing to being the fucking on stage enteratinment to a bunch of yokels from Kansas and Indiana). IF they kill him for following his instincts, I will be really troubled, giving that he is part of an endangered species. And they say the fate of the other 63 is uncertain. Where do they live anyway? Roaming a pen outside of Vegas?

Not Amused
 

Lighten up fella, all we can do now is say a prayer and see what fate G-d has in store for him. The bottom line is that big cats usually kill quickly and can eat incredible amounts of meat in a bite, so the poor sequined bastard is lucky to even be clinging to life.

From what I heard on NPR, or one of those 70s style radio programs this morning is that the real story is yet to come, according to sources the Cat is a rampant homophobe who listens to Rush and has been an open supporter of Schwarzenegger. I'm sure this news will get your BVDs all knotted up.

Not Amused
 

Roy seems to be recovering. As to economic impact of a news item impacting whether one should comment, remember the J. Lo/Afflect wedding was tagged at several million dollars. When it crashed, lots of florists/stationary cos./cake makers/photographers/air brush artists/toupee techs, etc. were hit hard. The stalled wedding was still seen as appropriate post subject matter.

Not Amused
 

I've seen them on TV, on a Travel channel show. Supposedly all of the tigers and Siegfried and Roy and some tiger nannies all live in a 163 acre palatial estate outside of Vegas. The tigers roam freely around the house and compound and even have cable TV. Roy and Seigfried helped to deliver the baby tigers and even helped nurse one of them when the mother died during the birth. They were treated like adopted children.

PensKe RIP
 

From the NYT obits

Mr. Kardashian is survived by his wife, Ellen Pierson, and his children from his first marriage, three daughters, Kourtney, Kimberly and Khloe, and a son, Robert.

Caped Horn Mauled
 

POTY.

TM

Aiming at the Wrong Girl
 

Maybe the threat involved making her watch "Gigli" nonstop for a week.

Speaking of which, whatever happened to Matt Damon?

burning bright
 

So I'm walking down the street yesterday and these two wannabe models are heading toward me. A guy and a girl. As I pass them, the guy turns to the girl and says, "Did you hear about that sabertooth tiger they caught in someone's apartment yesterday?"

Damn.

TM

Not Amused
 

Nah. I'm much more of a "Jimmy Hopper: Best Lounge Act in Vegas" kinda guy.

I dunno about GGW, but maulings happen even in places where the cats aren't expected to do tricks -- zoos, wildlife preserves, etc. I don't blame the cat (and I don't think that it should be killed, paigow) -- it was just acting like a tiger.

That being said, it may well be that Roy ain't the sharpest chunk of cheddar in the cheese drawer, but I still don't think that a guy getting grabbed in the throat and dragged off-stage by a tiger is all that funny.

And, hank, he's recovering? The last news I heard was that he was still critical, and that the doctors were saying that reports that he is "stabilizing" means that he didn't die last night. I surrender on the job losses, though. I'll continue to feel bad about them, but I'll save my FB Outrage (tm) for jokes about the guy with his throat ripped open.

burning bright
 

Good to hear that Bam-Bam learned a few more words since childhood.

burning bright
 

When I first heard the story I wondered how he could afford so many exotic animals when he was living on the public dole. The real story here is this guy obviously has too much time on his hands and needs to stop sucking off the tax payers of NY and get a job. Maybe this idiot Bloomberg should set up a task force to look into it. Speaking of which I publicly regret voting for that man, a big sorry to all my fellow New Yorkers.

Another question, with the massive quantity of waste that this tiger must have produced how bad must it have smelled in that menagerie of an apartment. And I thought my cats litter box was bad.

burning bright
 

I can't. I tried. It is unreadable. He has no point. His sentences are poorly constructed. And he makes no sense. Wiley is the worst writer I've come across in any field. How did he get that job?

TM

Caped Horn Mauled/ other wonders of modern medicine
 

I've heard great things about Clint's new movie, Mystic River. Academy Award murmurings. Cast practically begged to do it, and the New York Times review on Saturday was positively glowing. http://movies2.nytimes.com/2003/10/0...es/03MYST.html

burning bright
 

Why is it my fault? The US has been inconsistent this tournament. They were horrible (HORRIBLE, I say) against North Korea, and were incredible against Norway. I was screaming at the TV during the North Korea game, but in awe during Norway.

Germany is a physical team, but they also have discipline and are highly skilled on the ball. Coaxing Maren Meinert out of retirement has been key to their success this tournament. She is so dangerous on the ball. They also got a lot of confidence after pounding in 7 goals against the Russians in the quarters.

Germany should handle Sweden in the finals. The third place game has the potential to be quite a battle. I think the US will prevail, but only because Canada has suffered so many injuries and doesn't have a full compliment of true defenders who are healthy enough to play. Sweden was really picking them apart at the end of the game last night.

Anne
Can't comment on the US/Germany game 'cause I didn't watch it - was having a great time at the REM concert. I really need a Tivo.

OK - back to your regularly scheduled FB topics.............

Not Amused
 

WHile I find the whole story kind of sad, and definitely interesting in a grotesqye, dragged off stage by a tiger who had him by his lifted neck, kinda way, NB, I must say, your interest and keeping on top of the story is a wee bit troubling.