Abba wins
 

Gratz Abba on 5k. Carry on.

LOTR
 

My guess was that when he put it on, no one noticed he was in the room.

TM

LOTR
 

Good one. His point (which, I recognize, is not obvious from my not-very-articulate re-enactment of the hilarity that was my conversation with colleagues) was that his wife was able to control him while he was wearing the ring.

Uh, you probably knew that, didn't you?

LOTR
 

(For anyone who hasn't seen the movies yet or read the books. Both of you.)

S
P
O
I
L
E
R

Well at least the guy was decent enough to leave out the
"Dark Lord/Lidless eye always watching/I'd soon as have some creature chew my finger off to get rid of it" part out...

lies
 

Flat denial. Wasn't me. (And that is so much older than that stupid fucking song OR the Eddie Murphy bit.)

Untrue. If you construct it well, you won't have to remember because it won't be of note. Just another drunken night out with your friends that melts into all the others. Who can keep track?

TM

Book Club
 

I meant to do this the day I got back from vacation, but, alas, I was buried under piles of CRAP in my office.

So, anyway, to whomever recommended "The God of Small Things" -- I would like to say THANK YOU!! I loved, loved, loved it. (The Booker Prize is pretty reliable, in my view, but I really loved this book.)

I read about 7 books over vacation, and left them all there (who wants to schlep back a book I'm never going to read again?) -- except that one. In fact, I started re-reading it on the plane home.

Sorry I can't remember who it was, but THANKS!

The Mole
 

I don't think watching for clues as to who the mole is means much until the end. It's probably all a crap shoot for the first few episodes anyway.

And Everhart better stay for awhile. I actually think she's the mole. Her or Baldwin.

TM

LOTR -- SPOILER
 

Heh heh... Yeah -- he's a helluva guy! He's very nice, and about as wide as he is tall. He has a great personality, though (no, really!).

The Mole
 

Yeah, she's got to be the mole. Bernsen and Baldwin are too obvious - it can't be them. Everyone has already suspected them. Too easy. I was surprised that Keisha took her clothes off.
And Tracy Gold - I don't see her lasting much longer either - she's not much of a ratings draw - with or without clothing.

ETA I'm shocked. I just looked at the profiles and Rodman has 4 kids?!? Hmm, I must not have been paying attention. And his strategy is to play dumb. That's working as he's looking pretty clueless.
profile

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Hearing TM's example made me wonder how many people here would/have actually lied to their SO* about something like that (much less concoct an elaborate plan to do so, along with accomplices)... And if you would/have done so, why?

I have a (weird?) thing about lying to or being lied to by my SO. If I ever found out he did something like this, I would rage. Seriously. If something is not innocent enough for you to tell your SO where you are going, why do it? If you think that your SO would not condone your behavior either because s/he would be irrational or because s/he had reason not to condone it, isn't it important to communicate about that stuff?

Anyone?



*I apologize upfront for overuse of this term in the following post - no better way to convey serious committed relationship here

The Mole
 

Haven't you watched any of the other (non-celebrity) moles? They usually pick a boring person who flies under everyone's radar to be the mole, so Gold would be perfect.

TM

The Mole
 

Hasn't it always been a woman in the past? Celebrity and non?

The Mole
 

No, on Mole 2 it was a male fat. An old white guy named Richard, maybe? I remember he was a sailor or something. One of his most mole-ish acts was pretending he couldn't tread water for very long with a few pounds of weights on him.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I'll field this one since all the other liars out there will just lie to you about ever doing something like this.

Meeting with an ex is inherently dangerous. I don't care on what terms you split or how good and platonic your friendship now is. You once fucked them and found them very attractive. It is highly likely that you will find them attractive again. This is how every SO in the world thinks about exes. Everyone who says otherwise is completely full of shit.

So, why go? Because you think you won't find them attractive enough to act on it and you enjoy their company even though it didn't work out with them. You have convinced yourself that you are mature enough to have an adult conversation with them without jumping their bones, etc.

It's not necessarily that you have evil plans that your SO need not know about. It's more like "Why not just save myself the headache of the drawn-out conversation over someone who matters enough to only rate a drink every year or so?" And before you say, "But you've created more work with the lie than the conversation would be," I'll have to say: Wrong. Because you will have the conversation then. You will have the conversation another half-dozen times too. And if you don't actually have that conversation over and over, the SO is going over it in their head on their own at least as many times.

TM

Holy Moley
 

To the dismay of some, yes.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

or, more simply, because chicks are irrational about ex-SOs, so even though you're right about its being platonic, it will take too long to convince the SO that is, in fact, the case.

lies
 

So what happens if the friend watched you for 30, 45, 60 minutes and saw only you and the girl together talking and took note of your body language? Call your pal Fugee for assistance with the appropriate "forgive me" jewelry purchase??? At some point lying about it is worse than what you actually did and makes the other person think you must have done something really bad to lie about it.

I think going off to meet an ex without telling the SO is fraught with peril. But then again I am a terrible liar.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

If you meet up with an ex (without any "interaction"), you're not doing anything wrong. But I don't care how honest you are with your SO, that person is better off not knowing about it.

Not telling/lying is better for everyone. If the SO knows, she gets suspicious/jealous/any other emotion that, given complete information about the situation, is irrational. Who wants irrational emotion? You can keep telling her that her reaction is off-base, but it will be pointless. Why not avoid any unnecessary conflict. A conflict that, given complete information,* would not occur.

*by "complete info", I mean access to your thoughts/feelings.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I think I have had understanding SO/spouses. I have met up with different exes a few times and told the person I was involved with each time (one of my exes told me he wasn't telling his wife he was meeting me, another ex told his wife and apparently she was fine with it*). I don't really see the point with lying about that. Especially if nothing happens.

This is not to say that I am above lying. Just not about that particular issue.

*I have my doubts. (bitch)

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Because nobody needs to know everything about anyone, ever. Because sooner or later, we all have secrets. Because it isn't worth ending a relationship built over years over something that occurs over hours.

And no, I'm not saying I have lied to/cheated on my wife. Nor am I saying that I haven't. I'm not confessing a sin, bragging about a conquest, or trolling for a date with Less. All I'm saying is that after having been with someone for about as long as some of you have been alive, I am willing to admit that there's a lot more gray in the world than there is black or white.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Only if avoiding a few smaller disagreements is worth the ultimate huge screaming ragetrip and possible breakup.

lies
 

Uh...no. If that's the case, then her friend is a fucking psycho and you can get out of it by saying, "Maybe she didn't even notice that my friend was there because she's so bent on catching me doing something I had no intention of doing that she's lost her fucking mind? She spent 60 minutes watching me? Did she see me kiss her? Did I have my hand on her leg? Your friend is nuts."

And here is a simple truth. Your SO wants to believe you. They will go out of their way to believe the story you're telling them. I think that women are more trusting than men in this sense, but I think it's true to a certain extent of everyone. That's just the way it is. They don't want to hear it (especially from a friend who spent 60 mins watching you -- who definitely is a little cracked) from anyone else. Some people are just gullible, but that's different than what I'm saying here.

TM

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

We're talking about Coltrane. The breakup is inevitable. He just wants to keep the access to sex as long as possible.

lies
 

This is why I always meet my exes at out of town depositions

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Ok. Would your analysis/approach change at all if your SO had upfront, early in the relationship let you know that lying about that sort of stuff is unacceptable?

I guess from my perspective men* seem to be so adverse to having a mildly unpleasant conversation about something that instead they risk a much larger fight and future trust issues. Not a good tradeoff IMO.


*played out by the responses here so far, although it applies to some women as well, I'm sure.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I'm with you on this NCS. Meeting up with an ex may or may not upset me (depends on whether/what I'd heard about the ex from the SO) but lying about it would send me over the edge.

I had a lengthy on and off relationship with a guy who lied about where he was and what he was doing, even when he wouldn't have needed to lie. Just remembering sent my blood pressure up about 20 points.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I meant it certain specific instances, not in general.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Yes, only those instances in which the woman is likely to have any [irrational] emotion. Because those instances are never important.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Nope, I/ve met up with exes* and told Sequels beforehand. She's fine with it. Other SOs may not be. It also depends on WHICH ex you're meeting up with. If it's the ex that broke your heart and the SO knows this, well...you're in big trouble if you're thinking about meeting up with her in the first place.

*nothing happened

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Well put. I expressed similar sentiments a few weeks back to some colleagues regarding a fellow colleague who has elected not to leave her spouse after learning he had a one-night stand with someone. I was surprised to find that I was the only person who thought that her decision made sense.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I'm fine with rational emotions. Let's say you and I are dating RP. If I show up late to something three times in a row and you get pissed, that's a perfectly rational emotion. You could even call me immature.

lies
 

It all depends on the SO and the friend. And someone watching for a longish period of time is not necessarily psycho if she was sitting where you were in her line of sight and she could glance over periodically enough to notice if someone else was there. And not seeing you kiss the women or put your hand on her leg isn't the point. The point isn't that you were fooling around but that you lied about where you were.

I still say however entertaining an evening catching up with an ex might be, your best bet is to not do it if it requires lying.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I agree. If my husband cheated on me and (a) it was a one-time thing, and (b) didn't infect me with anything, I honestly don't think it would be the end of the world. I don't expect anyone to be perfect. Of course, I would prefer that I didn't find out.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I'm more likely to call you stupid.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Prefectly rational given my tardiness.*

*I'm really sorry. Circus. In town. Mistake.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

This reminds me that shortly after my divorce, a college ex started calling me. He would call me at odd times, sometimes drunk, and ask to talk about how I had the courage to get out of my marriage and start discussing details of how unhappy he was in his marriage and how I had broken his heart, etc. He went to great lengths to discuss ways I could contact him without his wife knowing. The kicker -- his wife gave birth to their second child just weeks before these calls started. I was nothing other than polite (and maybe "distant"), but the entire time he talked to me, I thought to myself "what a sleazeball". And "thank god I live several thousand miles away from him now". I'm sure in his mind contact with an ex was wrong, but it was obviously the kind of contact he was initiating, not the fact of contact itself.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

The word "rational" doesn't modify "emotion." I think what you're talking about are proportioned emotions, or predictable emotions,* or emotions with which you, too, can empathize. But not "rational."

*In the sense that they are not unexpected. I don't suggest that you ever attempt to validate your SO's emotions by calling them "predictable." What you get in response to calling them that might be unexpected, unless you expected that you and your nutsack would not necessarily live out your respective lives together.

Lost Breasticle Day Photo!
 

Why didn't this make it to Breasticle Day?

Spree: boobs.

Ollie (digging out from the very unusual NW deepfreeze, and feeling very Minnesota) Ramone

Crank Yankers
 

Apparently, some tool over at AP accidentally forwarded via email his entire rolodex filled with phone numbers from sports icons ranging from Kareem to Peter Angelos to Clemens to the Fraziers to Madden to Stan Mikita.

Gonna be a lot of prank calls over the next few days.

Disclaimer: Any prank calls to Merlin Olson were not from me

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I would not judge someone for choosing to stay or for choosing to go in that situation. Who the fuck besides her and her husband knows all of the circumstances of their relationship and what the best choice would be?