The Spanky Show
 

Spanky

I was thinking about your neighborhood kids with cell phone post. And I was wondering, do those kids read the Lawtalkesr or are you in some kind of old fashioned neighborhood where the stay at homes bake pies for their neighors and discusses their personal lives over Oprah?

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Never has there been a poster that has had such a great effect on these boards in so short a period of time. He's been here what, a few months, and already has a thread dedicated to him? What a natural.

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that is because I burned out of all of my other socks within a month, but in fairness the GreedyPolitics board was spawned by my Ken Pornstarr sock. that is fairly lasting affect.

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I blame the Unions.

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I think it is summer break, because there are a lot more kids hanging out during the day than there were a month ago. They keep asking me why the deer have not come back. They seem to be suspicious that somehow I have engineered their absense intentionally. I had forgotten that kids were brainwashed with the idea that adults actually know something.

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They are probably fleeing from the horror of Union oppressed schools.

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Yes, but how is it you are talking to these kids? Are they sitting on the sidewalk when you step out across the lawn to fetch your mail? How did they find out about the deer?

Andthey seem kind of stupid for being 12.

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My hidden camera revealed that Spanky goes outside in his loosely tied bathrobe to "rap" with the kids, and there are unaccepted offers of punch and pie if they'd only come in and "hang".

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You are not paying attention to my posts. Some of these kids were in the back of their grandparents car and drive by when the deer were here (eyes wide as saucers). Immediately they told all their friends. Every time one of them brings a new kid to the neighborhood they have to show them my Big Mouth Billy Bass. I stopped locking doors when I lived in Japan. Eventually they just stopped ringing the doorbell. The kids walk through my house like it is the mall. During the day my house is "in bounds" for hide and go seek. In addition, they come in to get the cats because they like sticking them next to the gold fish pond and see if the cats can catch a goldfish.

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Is this bathrobe turquoise and terry cloth by any chance? Or is it maroon with white trim and velour?

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The camera isn't the highest quality, but the best I can tell, it's kind of a dingy grey. There is a Santa suit he pulls out occasionally, but that's really rare ever since the court order.

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I have some questions:

1) Are you Michael Jackson? That slow lilting voice I hear when I read your posts is starting to have a face put with it.

2) Is your backyard in your front yard or is your house transparent?

3) How do you know these are grandparents and not the offspring of an aging spinster and her mantrappee?

4) Where do you live? I think I would like to sneak out of your house and play hide and go seek one of these Thursdays. Maybe feed Apples to a buck and hang a cat by its tail and dip it into the goldfish pond like its bobbing for Apples.

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Whoa!

http://provercelli.homestead.com/fil...N-ANIMATED.gif

Mantrap alert! Run, Spanky! RUN!

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The latest politics thread is also dedicated to him. He gets around.

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I am barren. THat is not funny.

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Clearly he is behind the times because, as every child lover knows, the way to get the kids in the house is with jesus juice and porn.

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Actually, that would be pretty funny.

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What the hell is Jesus Juice:

Or do I not want to know?

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Actually, that is pretty funny, but unless you are interested in twelve year old boys then you probably don't want to know.

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The wicked stuff in the cup that allows you to raise on pocket sixes.

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Really? Have you not heard of Michael Jackson?
Link here

Not messing around
 

Maybe I have been going about this all wrong.

"The United Nations estimates that more than 70 percent of marriages in Ethiopia are by abduction, practiced in rural areas where the majority of the country's 71 million people live."

Not messing around
 

Tying to the two Spanky threads together:

Lions rescue beaten Ethiopian girl

- - - - - - - - - - - -
by Anthony Mitchell

June 21, 2005 | Addis Ababa, Ethiopia -- A 12-year-old girl who was abducted and beaten by men trying to force her into a marriage was found being guarded by three lions who apparently had chased off her captors, a policeman said Tuesday.

The girl, missing for a week, had been taken by seven men who wanted to force her to marry one of them, said Sgt. Wondimu Wedajo, speaking by telephone from the provincial capital of Bita Genet, about 350 miles southwest of Addis Ababa.

She was beaten repeatedly before she was found June 9 by police and relatives on the outskirts of Bita Genet, Wondimu said. She had been guarded by the lions for about half a day, he said.

"They stood guard until we found her and then they just left her like a gift and went back into the forest," Wondimu said.

Link

exit from spinsterhood?
 

Are you inviting the Paigow to abduct you or are you announcing your attention to abduct her?

Not messing around
 

I hear that approach works for catching deer, too.

exit from spinsterhood?
 

We shouldn't encourage any of this.
I think in the end Spanky likes to just sit and watch too much for P + S to really work out. Plus, once Paigow moves in spank's open door policy for the kids is gone too. I love em both, I'm just trying to avoid another lover's quarrel here.

exit from spinsterhood?
 

I think paigow's up for striptease and using toys.

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Wait? Do you and Spanky know each other IRL>??????

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You get dumber by the day.

exit from spinsterhood?
 

My ex-girlfriend, who moved in with me for a while, did not like the open door policy. She got all territorial with the house. She got nailed with one of those super soaker squirt guns and lost her temper. On advice from the neighborhood kids, I had to let her go.

exit from spinsterhood?
 

You should have just given her this one - to get even.

http://images.hasbro.com/common/imag...71_main200.jpg

Your competition will be frozen in their tracks when you bring out the ARCTIC SHOCK blaster! The sleek, powerful blaster contains an Ice Core tank that chills the water in this 40-ounce capacity soaker. Pump up the blaster, shoot out the powerful streams of water up to 35 feet away, and drench your opponents in icy water! The quick-fill cap means you don’t waste any valuable soaking time! Just fill it with water and it won’t leak out!

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Someone has a case of morning whiff? Let me translate my post for you, receptionist boy. That was a Slave Insidie Joke of the Day that wasnt really all that inside or that funny. WHere is greatestshit(lave) when you need him?

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Repeat: You get dumber [and more pathetic] by the day.

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Piece of advice?
Dear, you really shouldn't show this side of you here. We're trying to let S see us all as kinder and gentler than he might have remembered.

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Yep -- Slave got to him first.

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And what is that supposed to mean?

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Kevin Bacon's characeter to Micky Rourke's in diner:

Ever get the feeling there's stuff going on we just don't know about?

exit from spinsterhood?
 

I guess this also explains the brief, but torrid relationship with the ice cream lady.

Civil War question
 

Anyone know the answer to this: The revolver was invented prior to the civil war. So why didn't they produce revolving rifles. Maybe they did. But if they did why in all the movies are the soldiers carry muskets - where they have to drop the ball in, followed with the stick, and then shoot. But the officers are carrying revolvers. If all the men had revolvers wouldn't they be able to take on a group of men five times their size? Why didn't they mass produce the revolvers (or revolving rifles) so everyone could have them? It is not like the North was low on cash or didn't have the manufacturing base.

Civil War question
 

this is a new angle so it might work, but most people try and close the deal with paigow by pop culture references. I don't know if she has a hard on for gun posts.