Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

Hey, ho. Let's go.

ETA: We need a brazen name. A bold, brazen name.

Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

How about Randy?

Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

Prancing fucking unicorns?

ETA I looked this up and realized I was the person who initially said it. Go figure.

Paris
 

The ironic thing is that the judge allegedly made an example of her - giving her hard time rather than the option of home detention or community service - because of her celeb status, but then she is getting home detention because her celebrity is allowing her to get a high-paid shrink to claim impending nervous breakdown. Every other criminal can't claim "But jail gives me the shivers!" Just ask the fat cryer in "The Shawshank Redemption."

Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

I kind of like it the way it is. Like Mr Toad's Wild Ride.

Except I object to Burger calling me a Ho.

In the alternative, I'd suggest "A Black Hole of Happiness".

Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

Enter, stage right, giggling Australian.

Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

I think this was mine too, and based on this evidence, I totally rock.

Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

I suggest "Here, but for a pointed question during a conference call, goes Hank."

Bn'B's Lamest K-Race Thread
 

You have officially taken over the "board terminology creator" position from the Paigow. Congrats.

Paris
 

Ever hired a post sentencing consultant? There are guys who worked in the Fed System who charge $3-5K retainers up front to get your client "maneuvered" into the better facilities. Not a bad second career for retired wardens/asst wardens. They basically guide you through all the little administrative tricks to get prisoners into as optimal a surrounding as one can get. I assume they have them in the state system also, which is probably how Paris got herself out of this mess. I can't see a shrink's report being able to spring her alone. Somebody cashed in a favor here.

2. But "practical gift" also extends to the changing needs of the parents during the pregnancy. I'd get the $10 rattle and a gallon of JWB.

I was thinking gift certificate for a massage for the mom, and something cheap for the baby.

Yeah, because the baby won't care. But maybe a couples massage would be even better, since they're also celebrating their nuptials.

tm

elevator etiquette
 

You're on an elevator with two other people, standing in the middle. One gets off. Do you continue to stand in the middle, or do you move to the other side?

If she thinks they are pressed for cash for baby stuff, maybe buy something relatively expensive at the store where the registry is, and include the gift receipt. That way if the parents have already gotten e.g. the car seat or, uh, other expensive baby-related item, they can use the gift as a gift certificate? I don't know. Sometimes I'm not comfortable giving gift cards in denominations that are significantly higher than most gifts cost, because it seems ostentatious. I guess getting a bigger/more expensive present is also ostentatious. Are breast pumps smallish and unassuming looking?

If I think that the couple will be well-supplied and most of their friends aren't able to afford much, I usually go with a gift about the size others will give. If they're probably strapped and most friends can't afford much, I try to sneak in something bigger because having a baby or whatever is hard enough when you have all the stuff you need.

elevator etiquette
 

If the remaining person is Flower, you move a little closer in front of him and drop to your knees. Duh.

elevator etiquette
 

If you are standing in a row then i assume the car is wide enough that you have comfortable spacing, otherwise you should already have spread out front to back. Since you have spacing, you can remain. On the other hand you could move w/o seeming rude if there was some need to get even further away (smell).

elevator etiquette
 

I wouldn't know, I use a private elevator. Sharing is for poor people with no class.

elevator etiquette
 

Oh, sure, lord it over those who live in walk-ups.

gift question
 

What about going in with the other people that are part of your group for something a bit more extravagant, like a car seat or glider or changing table or something? Sort of a group present?

gift question
 

All good thoughts, thank you everyone. I will mull this all over.

elevator etiquette
 

I stay in the middle, so as to give everyone the best view of my ass.

gift question
 

Bumper sticker.


http://store.ministrymusic.org/image...cker_large.jpg

elevator etiquette
 

A related question: You are crammed in an elevator with five people, but have a good view, over the shoulder of the rider crammed directly in front of you, of the Elevator TV. Everyone gets out but you and the person in front of you.

Must you move to the other side and give up your view, or can you stay crammed in the corner?

elevator etiquette
 

Do you rotate?

elevator etiquette
 

You always move to a corner. The corners get filled first, then the walls furthest from anyone else. Then, it's just a matter of spacing.

TM

elevator etiquette
 

I would move to the side.

or to the back.

weird, I was going to post that on the train, if someone starts an inane conversation I stick in my IPod headphones and turn up the music. I now am spoiled and feel that urge to do the same thing in an elevator. Not sure if it is the time of year with the summers and the interns but lots of irritating conversations in elevators as of late. One rationalizes that in an elevator, how long can you be stuck there? long enough to have to endure a stupid conversation. And why do people feel compelled to make forced conversation about the most inane things [to each other, not me] or to disclose embarassing personal info in an elevator? it's simply squirm worthy. people feel the need to fill the empty air just like they feel compelled to carry on loud conversations on a packed train at 6am. who wants to hear your ass at 6 am? it is what drove me to buy the ipod in the first place.

elevator etiquette
 

Actually, the second law of thermodynamics forces you to move to the corner.

gift question
 

If she will be bfing, the Avent Isis breast pump is awesome, costs about $50, and comes in a small box.

tm

elevator etiquette
 

Not unrelatedly, when the elevator doors are closed, you can't tell whether you're moving very fast or not at all.

elevator etiquette
 

Move to the other side, dude.** What are you, a freak?




**Unless, of course, you're planning to make out with, or have sex with, the person you're standing next to.

elevator etiquette
 

He hasn't got much else to lord, since his stupid fucking baseball team (Hi Anne!) got swept by a (formerly) 3rd place AL West team.

elevator etiquette
 

There have actually been studies done on this - overwhelmingly, more than 2 unacquainted people will move to maximize the space around themselves, causing equidistance between neighbors.

elevator etiquette
 

...but then you have the one or two freaks who like to crowd your personal space and reach over you to press their floor button. At that point, ask me and I will press it for you, rather than acting like i'm not there and reaching across my face. The best is you are being polite and standing to the side waiting to get out end of the day and some rude one is pushing to the front like you are not even there.

elevator etiquette
 

Game 4 is today. 1-0 Sox in the 3rd.

elevator etiquette
 

Does hope count as a plan?

elevator etiquette
 

I forgot to check this morning -- the Sox are still in first place, right?

elevator etiquette
 

And, curiously, the A's are still in third place.

elevator etiquette
 

yes

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/standings

Paris
 

I've got $5 that says she leaves the manse and breaks her house arrest within the next 72 hours.