Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Also, I have learned that our neighborhood is one where kids still trick-or-treat. I have not been in a neighborhood like this since childhood and I am afraid I am a little behind the times as to what all the cool kids expect to receive as treats. I am considering baby carrots, eggs, or bibles. Any thoughts?
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Word to the wise. Trick-or-treaters are greedy little suckers. A few years back, in an effort to be a "good" house, we started handing out fistfulls of candy early on in the evening. The word got out to the rest of the trick-or-treating set, and we were deluged with short people in polyester capes. An emergency trip to Walgreens had to be made halfway through the evening.
If you really don't want to a) give out candy and b) be a target because you don't give out candy, cultivate one of the following personas:
- Elderly single woman rumored to be a witch whose house was appropriately creepy looking and whose yard was appropriately overgrown. There was fear of venturing near the house, much less knocking on the door. (My mother's version of this lady apparently went all out every single Halloween and hand made cookies and candies (back then no one cared about pre packaged candy), and was driven to tears every single year that the kids didn't come. But apparently every year she got ready, just in case. Her mother told her about it several years later, throwing on even more guilt to an already guilty conscience.)
- Childless, humorless couple that was always chasing kids away from their property, out of the flower beds, away from the dog, etc. Rumor had it that a gun was pulled on one kid at some point for coming within ten feet of the house. They NEVER had to give out candy.
- Scary middle aged guy who still lived with his parents and liked to try to talk to the neighborhood kids as much as possible. The type of guy when they interview the neighbors after having found several bodies in the attic, the neighbors aren't surprised at all. "Yeah, we figured it was a matter of time."
- The kid in the neighborhood that no one liked's house. Just in case you had to be nice to their parents and ended up being invited over. The same kid always came to your house, being nice to your parents and hoping that your parents would invite them over.
- The house with the dogs that nearly ate someone's older brother three years ago.
Otherwise, follow the crowd and try to blend in with the rest of the people buying candy at Target or Walgreens or wherever's closest.
