OK, this is truly bizarre, and potentially outable but only to those deeply in the know, a category which cannot possible include anyone here except for the one or two of you who know me IRL. At the bottom of that story, there are links to other McSweeney's content, including
this piece by -- I shit you not -- my sister's boyfriend in high school. It starts:
- Everyone loves getting turned on. Everyone loves high-kicking martial-arts action.
So I'm going to recount for you the very first heavy-petting session I engaged in with my first girlfriend when I was 16. But because I'm not sure that this girlfriend would appreciate me sharing these events, instead of using her real name, I'm going to refer to her as action star Chuck Norris. Likewise, any personal details about my ex-girlfriend that might implicate her directly will be changed to indicate achievements earned by Mr. Norris.
Huh.
