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[bilmore]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
"He was very nervous, wearing loose fitting shorts with no other clothing, and he had a tremendous amount of Vaseline covering his entire body and the interior of his vehicle," Lansdale police officer George Johnson wrote in the criminal complaint.

(spree: work-safe, unless you read it aloud)

It said:

"When questioned by police, he admitted to having a problem masturbating in public places, according to court documents."

I think they phrased that wrong.