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[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Oooh ooh ooh, how exciting, here are mine:

Geraldo Rivera: short and hairy

Jerry Seinfeld (pre-Seinfeld): short, thin, single, and neat, and yes, has a matter of fact, he was wearing size 31 Levi's, with a tucked in, button-down shirt tucked in

Kirk Cameron: medium

Kirk Cameron's wife: taller than Kirk, and very pretty

Sting: short, and taut, and lithe, with really piercing eyes and a quick smile

Tracy Ullman: she was sitting down, but her hair was shiny, and she was cute

Joe Lockhart: doughy and not short

Ari Fleischer: short and thin and not hot

Ari Fleischer's wife: hot, in a shake-your-head, "she's procreating with HIM?" kind of way

Greta Van Susteren and Wolf Blitzer: exactly like you'd expect. Greta was not vain at all. A big tennis fan. Wolf was quite vain.

Alan Greenspan: short and thin and hunched and old and as muppet-like as those WSJ drawings would lead you to believe

Some SEC dude who left the year before last: fat and hairy and wearing ill-fitting clothes, and eating with his elbows on the table.

Some NBC news guy named David somebody: tall, thin, and very speedy in his movements

Anderson Cooper: short, thin, bad skin, but still cute, and a little harried


By short, I mean, not as tall as I am. Medium means maybe about as tall as I am. Not short means maybe taller than I am. It's all about me and my height, you see.

I'm sure I've seen lots of other famous for Washington types, but I either don't recognize them, or can't recall their names, or otherwise don't give a shit.

This is my favorite post in a while.