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Paigow and Anne Coulter -- Separated at Birth?
From the Washington Post, April 2:
Human Uzi Ann Coulter, who left Washington for New York because of the disappointing dating scene, has left New York for Miami.
"YES -- I HAVE MOVED TO THE CITY OF INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE!!!!" the tall blond bestselling author e-mailed us yesterday. "Many reasons. Among them: The tax rate is a lot better for my business. The weather is better for my business. The real estate prices are better for my business. Moreover, that Democrat Michael Bloomberg is a latter-day John Lindsay -- he's wrecking New York City and I didn't want to pay for his fascist smoking police." Never mind that Bloomberg ran for mayor as a Republican.
"Soon he'll be mandating that New Yorkers have a glass of milk and engage in calisthenics every day. He seems to imagine that New Yorkers were drawn to that city for the clean living. It's literally mind-boggling that the mayor's response to a disastrous NYC economy is to crush the restaurant and bar business. I'm not sure even Lindsay could have come up with something so breathtakingly stupid. Reduced bar business means reduced tax revenues means Ann-Pays-More. So I'm gone.
"Also, I'm sick of working all the time and I need to sit on the beach and drink pina coladas with little umbrellas for a while to recuperate. Perhaps I will have a cigar with my pina colada -- which is still legal in Florida. And of course, Matt Drudge is in Miami -- as well as lots of swarthy, patriotic Cubans: the nation's best Americans. Having felt the lash of Democratic 'patriotism' at the Bay of Pigs, I believe they will like my next book."
The style is remarkably similar, methinks. Except Paigs wants to go to monte carlo or vegas, baby.
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[Dictated but not read]
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