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[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I was in a conservative fraternity on a conservative campus. Of the 200 or so guys in my frat over that time, I think there were maybe 2 open Democrats, and they came from politically prominent families. The guys I knew, including those active in conservative politics, were just like regular college students. They drank, did drugs, had sex, and assisted in getting their girlfriends abortions when pregnancy ensued. One was regularly introduced at Republican gatherings as the future governor (presumably this stopped later when he came out of the closet). Most of them were conservatives simply because that is the way they were raised.

However, I did know some genuine freaks. One summer, I worked in the oilfields in East Texas. Also working there were 2 other guys from my school, each from separate, but respectable, fraternities. One (whom I'll call "Charles") was a genuine bible thumper whose dad was a high-ranking executive in my mom's company, so I had to be nice to him. The three of us would hit the bars together after work. Charles didn't drink, which is fine, except he had to call attention to it. We'd order beers and Charles would announce brightly, "I'll have a beeeeeeeeeg glass of ice water!"

One night Charles & I went cruising Highway 80 (small town, not much else to do). We met some girls, picked up some beer and followed them back to their apartment. Charles went back into the bedroom with one, while I made out with the other one on the sofa. Pretty soon, Charles came out of the bedroom, said I needed to take him home, and stormed out to the car.

I was pretty pissed that he was interfering with my fun, but I went out to the car to see what was wrong. Turns out he had just lost his virginity and needed to go home to shower. He felt dirty.

If you think you made this anon enough that people can't guess who "Chuck" is you're life achievment dumb award should be in the mail