"Q: About a year ago, I made the heart-wrenching decision to leave a great job, house, friends and family to move to Hawaii with my fiancé.
As part of this transition, I also chose to have my two beloved chow chow dogs put to sleep. This was done for a variety of reasons, including their age and temperament, the smaller living quarters in Hawaii, the tropical climate and frequent travels, all with the goal of making our new life as stress-free as possible. I adored those dogs, but I justified their sacrifice to the greater good of a successful relationship.
After six months, I am still tormented by memories of my dogs. The depths of anguish and loss make me think I got rid of them for purely selfish reasons, which is the kind of behavior I thought I reviled. I feel that I have gone from dog-lover to dog-killer in one trans-Pacific flight.
This is not the person my fiancé fell in love with, and I fear that I will begin to blame and resent him for my emotional despair.
Do I try to morph into the kind of steely person who makes the tough decisions, swallows the consequences and moves on? Can I ever be the warm-hearted, caring animal-lover I once was, or will I always be a fake? What can I do to repair this soul-revealing wound?"
A: Buy a new dog.
I need an advice column. How much do these people get paid?
TM
