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Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I'm not a lawyer, but I figured I should post this here to get some reactions from lawyers, since I was dating one for awhile and I wanted to know if this is normal for you guys.

So, I'm dating this lawyer chick. She's all wound up, man. I'm a pretty laid back guy and I dig her, but she's kind of intense, you know? Here is an example. I have this modest lunchbox collection. You know, nothing special, just a few boxes I bought that reminded me of my childhood. Something fun.

This chick seizes on it like it is my life, man. I mean she is on a mission to collect every lunchbox that has ever been produced, buying me lunchboxes like crazy all the time. I mean, how about a nice, new shiny carabiner or something for my birthday? Not a chance. Now I store my boxers in an A-Team lunchbox and my flour in a Casper box. I'm not even going to say what I keep in the mint Leave it to Beaver lunchbox.

And if it isn't lunchboxes, it's fucking horses. I like horses. They seem cool enough. I even went to a Dude Ranch once. But if I have to hear one more word about horses, man, I'm going to flip right the fuck out. Saddles. Bits. Brushes. Who cares, man? I mean, I like sniffing glue as much as the next guy, but that's about as close as I get to horsies as an adult.

Plus, she's a little nutty. She throws me this big party, which is cool, I must admit. But then she flips out because I don't go and pick up my own cake. Then she gets all self-righteous on me and reminds me over and over again that she is doing all of this for me and I should appreciate it. I would have preferred a cupcake and a candle with just the two of us, man. But she has to make a big thing out of it and then gets all worked up. Now I have to pull out the extra lunchbox seats for these guests and pick up a cake and shit. She has three cars, man. Use one and get the cake. I'll be over here drinking beer out of my Dukes of Hazzard lunchbox.

So, I need a break. I mean a serious break. I decide to get as far away from her physically and mentally as possible for awhile without visiting the moon, you know? Everest. She could not possibly bother me when I'm up there man. I don't even like climbing, but I am seriously looking forward to this and I figure I am qualified because I am already climbing the walls, dude.

While I'm up there, my mind is clear, man. I mean, I can see clearly now and I don't have someone yapping and complaining in my ear about this and that. "I'm so cute." "You really should appreciate all I do for you." "Pick this up." "Put that down." "Hand me that saddle." "Put this lunchbox with the rest." None of that. And she is not even that cute, dude.

So, when I get back, I think maybe things will be better. Maybe she'll stop being so controlling, you know? I test out my theory by saying I would like to see some of my friends, who I have missed while I was away. No big deal, right? We're just going to play golf. Well, it interferes with something she already planned (not the homecoming party she planned for me and 100 of her friends), so she flips out. Plus, it looks like she gained a few while I was gone (four pounds, my ass).

So she wants to break up with me? Ain't that a bitch, man? Telling me I'm selfish for spending money to do something very few people in the world can say they have done. I could have been feeding orphans or something with that money. Is she joking, dude? She has three cars and 36 horses. Does she post here? Has she mentioned how much her saddles cost?

But I am out. Free. Gone. Life is good. At least I think so until
I go to the drawer to burn that bitch's passport. (Why she keeps it here to begin with, I will never know.) Of course, it's gone. Seems she snuck into my house, like a lunatic and took it. But at least she returned the key. I wonder how many copies she has.

Is this normal for lawyer chicks? I like your income, but are you all as batshit crazy as this? I need to know because I'm going out on a date with this paigow girl and I think she's a lawyer too.

Thanks in advance.

"Anon"

Hi, ANon. Congrats on the passive-aggresssive breakup. Its nice to let the dumpee feel like the dumper. And now you get to put the Playboy collection back out on the coffeetable. Without the Highlights Magazine covering it up.

Here is my question. Is "golf" an euphemism for strip clubs, mushrooms and paid in full blowjobs? Just wondering.