Quote:
Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
2. I'm sorry this has hit you as a shock, but I think it's naive to expect that people won't cheat. Trust gets betrayed casually every day. It happens. Don't get all emotional about it. If you want to stay with your wife, just pretend nothing's happening and realize if you want to stay married to her, you have to accept her, warts* and all. Or else move on. Do you have children?
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I have to disagree on this... If you go into the marriage knowing the wife may cheat, or you have an open marriage, then I agree. You should not be shocked, and you really can't complain. BUT, if the wife expected you to be monogamous and then cheats, you've got a right to be pissed. And you've got a free pass to cheat all you like. If you stay with such a person, you'll have to cheat... because thats the only way any person with a stitch of self respect could stay in such an arrangement. What kind of person could stay faithful to a person he/she knew was cheating on em? You'd have to have absolutely no self esteem. You can't just wipe something like this under the rug, or pass it off as mere "warts." You either do the open marriage (whether openly or covertly) or you walk.
And I have to disagree about accepting cavalierly your spouse's cheating. I don't like monogamy any more than any other person, but its the hand I was dealt. And frankly, I've had enough ass in my life to know that the coolness of getting some "strange" won't outweigh the seismic disaster to my psyche a divorce would bring.
But thats why I got married late, after I'd sown my oats. There's a funny thing I notice about guys I work with who cheat a lot. Many of them are dweeby. They got hitched early and didn't get much action as youngsters. This isn't to say that all cheating men are insecure dweebs - I also know many serial cheaters who are just born players. Thats what they do. But they're the minority. Most of the guys who cheat are just tools who get led around by their dicks because they never got any serious female attention until a secretary enamored with their wallet offerd them some. I thank God my outsized ego and moderate success with the ladies through my lengthy single life have always ensured I'd never be one of those guys... Ain't nothing worse than an aging dork getting taken for his bank in divorce court. I haven't taken shit serious in my whole life, but the idea of hurting my wife is pretty repulsive to me. I don't think everyone takes the marriage contract so lightly.
Now, that said, if my wife offered me free passes to screw around or said it wouldn't hurt her, shit... thats a no brainer. I'd be the first to mess around.
