Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I offer almond tequila as an awesome booze to drown your sorrows in.
Damn, that stuff was good. We went through three bottles on Sunday night, and there was serious discussion of launching an expedition to Mexico to get some more. Apparently, you can't get whatever it was that we were drinking here. Fortunately, reason (sort of) prevailed, and we nearly killed each other with fireworks instead.
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The party I went to yesterday had 40s. It has been quite some time since I last enjoyed the unique flavors that make up malt liquor and I was shocked that these flavors weren't quite as subtle as I remembered.
I watched some of the fireworks on HD last night. Same thing every year, except this year Mariah Carey performed. And this is where it gets good.
So I'm watching her sing some generic pop song and, as usual, she is wearing very little clothing. The thing about Mariah, though, is that she is a big woman. Not overly fat by any stretch, but she is thick. Beyonce thick in the legs and her waist is now way past what she thinks it is (or what it should be given the clothes she wears). "What's the point?" you may ask (and I commend you for staying focused; clearly you haven't had a 40 in a long time). I'm looking at her and something ain't right. Short shorts and a half-top show off her abs, which are defined. This is really bothering me, since when she leans to the sides, a clear roll of fat appears. I pause the show and look closer.
Mariah Carey has drawn a six pack on her stomach. Let me repeat that. Mariah Carey has drawn a six pack on her stomach. She shaded the sides and actually drew lines where abs would be on a person who was in shape (with shading underneath each to make them look contoured). Now, that is sad. Couldn't be sadder.
Seen this weekend: Sandra Bernhard at the playground. She is indeed as ugly in person as she appears to be on tv.
TM
