Forums

Originally posted by LessinSF
Quite a reaction for my three little words, but I'll bite and review your posts to try to discern the type of person you are:

1. If bi counts, make it a foursome! We've got daisychain potential ladies! We learn that you use exclamation points almost as annoyingly as Penske, and you chose to make your first post a statement on your sex, sexuality, and to make an Internet proposal.

2. [Substantive discussion of Kinsey sprinkled with disclosure about 3 acquaintances who went to prison, location of those prisons, nature of crimes, etc...] We learn that you aren't particularly concerned about outing, that you choose your friends poorly, and that you went to prep school.

3. U sound creepy...a little pedophillic if U ask me. ...but diff'rent strokes and all that jazz I guess. We learn that you have annoying internet typing habits, idiotically abbreviate words a la Paigow, cannot spell "pedophilic," like cliches, and wanted your debut to involve taking on a regular.

4. Well, I suppose it depends how "little" the "little school girl" is. Cultural differences aside, a John-benet fetish is feloniously creepy while the lolitaesqueish thing is sexy creepy. We learn you have the regretable trait of responding to every post that responds to you, that you are overly sensitive to criticism, can't spell Jon Benet's name, like to insert non-existent hyphens, and like to make up words. We are left confused with repect to which "cultural differences" you are referring when you suggest that there are such differences between pedophilia an ephebophilia.

5. Listen mr. "old fucker", I tell it like it is. Straight up. Quite obviously, a struck chord in you with my posting. Maybe I hit a little too close to the mark? We learn again that you are overly sensitive to criticism, unoriginal in your insults, and cliche-ridden.

6. U R preaching to choir sweetie! We learn again (in your fifth post in 25 minutes) that you suffer from teen chat room syndrome, like exclamation points, are a serial poster, and almost bi-polar in your emotional responses.

7. Oh, based on your responses I think I have all the "knowledge" I need. U seem as transparent as the X-ray pic in your sideline profile.
And I "practice" law just fine, thank you very much!
I have the same credo with my clients as well I do with my lovers, leave them satisfied and coming back for more! Boardroom....bedroom, its all the same to me.
We are blessed with more exclamation points, internet abbreviations, defensiveness, and cliches, but not much new to help "discern" what type of person you are.

8. Give me time.....I can't claim the lurking credentials that U are referencing. I've only been aware of this board since I read an article in law.com, I'm not sure I even understand your references to "Icky" et al.
Anyway, in fairness, its not fair to judge me when I am being baited by this taxwonk character. "Old fuckers" bring out the worst in me. Remind me too much of the typical tite-assed 50-something gray-haired male partner. Yuck!
Deal me in (please) for a hand. Or two [smilies omitted].
Here, we at least learn that you cannot spell "tight," are delusional in thinking that Taxwonk baited you when you flamed him first, are redundant ("in fairness, it is not fair'), and that you like stupid smilies. We are left confused, however, regarding why you would think it "unfair" to judge you based upon your responses to other posters. We are not sure how else we are meant to judge you. We can only conclude that you are unclear on the concept of an Internet bulletin board or criminally stupid.

9. I'm going to ignore your attempts to bate me! Jerk! We learn that you neither know the meaning of the word "bate" or the meaning of the word "ignore." However, we are reassured that you like exclamation points and have a deep-seated psychological need to respond to every response.

10. How about 3.2858 hands of 21?!? Everyone's a winner at that game [smiley omitted]. In your tenth post in three hours, we are not sure what we learned because the import of 3.2858 hands of blackjack is beyond me (and I even ran a Google search to make sure that that number did not have some import). We did learn, however, that you don't know that everyone doesn't win in blackjack. We are reminded that you like smilies.

11. bi's hands be nimble
bi's hands be quick
bi's hands make you cum quicker than any man's dick!
[smilies omitted]. We learn that you can be clever at times. We see you still like excamation points and smilies.

12. No worries sista', to paraphrase another "Slowhand":
Leagl, I'll have U trembling at the knees.
Leagl, U'll be begging, bi-berry please.
Leagl, darling bi will please U're quivering behind. I don't think we learn anything new here to help us "discern" what type of person you are. This is a rehash of internet typing, your focus on your sex and sexuality, and the continued flirting/propositioning of Leagl. We do get a gratuituous "sista," but we are not sure what we learn from this.

13.1What is the FB considerately appropriately politically correct way for this silly rabbit to convey the 4-real sentiment that I was wrong (notwithstanding that a couple of you really raked my lil behind over the hotcoals)?????? We learn you do not use adverbs correctly, have even more annoying internet typing habits, are still overly sensitive, but have apparently realized that you were wrong. We doubt your behind is "lil," though.

13.2I have to admit that I had lurked here for almost a month, not as much as some, but long enough to pick up the vibe, and thought I could jump in here and have some fun but I slipped up. I thought the hipper than thou crowd here would appreciate this funloving bi-loving DC/NY fashionista wannabe, but I put my jimmychoo clad foot, and possibly some other body parts, in my big fat mouth. We learn that you have poor judgment in your abilities, and that you have a knowledge of board lore than belies your claims of uniqueness and newness.

13.3For what it’s worth, I think its was nervous energy. I saw that leagl was the reigning lesbian board queen and was at once feeling the need to make my presence felt but yet at the same time looking to impress her. Truth be told, the last woman whom I was seeing reminds of leagl’s board voice. And this was a girl that made me sweaty from across the room, twitching and stuttering, scared, like a school girl. I think I transferred this awkwardness to my debut here and this is catastrophic because my everyday personality is usually ultra-fabuloso-charming and adorable. We learn that you do not know how to use the word "whom," commas, or hyphens. We learn that you are either delusional or sarcastic regarding your real-life personality. We have further suggestion of socking, but what could also be a sincere explanation of your behavior.

13.4So despite being a woman of these many talents, adored by guys and gals alike, I show up here as a goofy dork who starts lashing out at board oldtimers (albeit creepy ones like taxwonk).
So I guess I win the hostile lawtalkers chatboard geek of week award.
So, that leaves us with the ultimate bottom line question: How in high hades hell do I get this mutherflocking kitty-cat back in the sack?[smiley omitted ? We learn again that you are either delusional or sarcastic, but that you occasionally demonstrate wit and a potential for wordsmithing.

14. Does submission to your intriguing form of "punishment" earn me my FB penance? And r we talking your firm but tender hand or do you have other toys to pique my curiousity?? We are reminded of your overeagerness, your congenital inability to not respond to posts, your desire to interact by flirting, and your use of the annoying "r" abbreviation. We learn that you cannot spell "curiosity."

15. Stop teasing me with these wicked double entendres leagl! I told you I was vulnerable for your type and it won't take much to push me over the edge.
Yes, the people who have PM'd me have told me the same thing and actually pointed out the posters whose flamethrowers will be most blazin. I'm ready, hit me with your best shot [smiley omitted] We learn that you are full of shit, as proved by how well you handled my way less than best shot - the vicious attack words "Yeah, hi Penske." We learn that you are vulnerable to internet lesbians who speak with the "board voice" of a former lover, and that you can be pushed over some sort of proverbial edge by the use of double entendres. We learn that you should maybe step back from this edge of which you speak because we are concerned about you.

16. A cute and perky Patch gal. Down to earth yet not without a subtle sophistication. A candle light and fine wine romantic with a strap-on hidden under the bed. Oh MY! The thought makes me heady![smiley omitted].We learn that you are disassociative, having forgotten that you were a "DC/NY fashionista wannabe" in post 13. We are reminded of your penchant for exclamation points and smilies. We learn that you think of yourself in terms of a Match.com ad. We learn that merely thinking about guttering flames, fermented grape juice, and a plastic sex toy makes you giddy.

17.Prophetic phrase. [said in response to "Oh Lord.] We learn you can at least spell prophetic. We are reminded that no good post goes unpunished.

18.1So sorry dearie, I have lurked long enough to know what a sock is and I ain’t one. Just the real me. This may be outable but I’m bi-berry bikini’d for two simple reasons.
First, I am bisexual. And generally, I’m out, at least where the topic of my sexuality is relevant. And I’m comfortable with that. I am sexually attracted to both men and women. Thus, bi. Additionally, for your info, I am a Democrat-an ex-Clinton staffer, a lawyer, a member of NOW and a NYer. So that’s me, a Gotham dwelling Bi-Dem-Femme. No sock identities necessary!
Second, I am the Queen of Burberry. Two summers ago, I was the Queen of the Burberry bikini. Given the trends, I skipped that number last year, BUT got a gorgeous new pink nova Burberry bikini with the classic check trim this season. So on my bi-monthly outings to the Hamptons, I’m a burberry gal again. Hooray for me!
We learn that you have at least two more things in common with Paigow - burberry and use of the word "dearie." We are reminded of your sexuality in case we forgot or couldn't understand your moniker. We are treated to sentence fragments. We learn that you think you have to explain what bi-sexuality means to us. We learn that you are back in New York, have poor taste in presidents, and are a woman. We are treated to a nice phrase in "Bi-Dem-Femme." We are abused with explanation points. We suspect that you misused "bi-monthly" when you meant "semi-monthly."

18.2 Having stated my case, let me add that your hostility does not surprise me. You strike me as quick to judge and while my everyday personality is, as I’ve stated, usually ultra-fabuloso-charming and adorable, I do realize that at times people I meet can find me to be a Burberry clad caution and I think I know why, my multifacetedness scares you all. Allow me to explain. While I date successful high-powered good-looking men and even at a young age am already a highly accomplished lawyer, the paragon of 'normal' and ‘respectable’ by those with closed minds, the girl next door who you would want to fetch your mail and water your fern while you are on vacation, I am also a bit of wild life living girl, indulging in kinky side, exploring guys and gals of my choosing, when I’m choosing and I think that for some people that is scary. Maybe you are on those people and find me a threat because my free natured existence makes you question your own sexuality and standard of normalcy. I am an agent provacatuer. So if that’s the case be afraid…..be very afraid.
Just kidding…don’t be afraid…..just let me be me!! Bi-berry! We learn that you cannot spell "provocateur." We learn that ...
...
... shit, I can't do this anymore. I have to go masturbate. Good job Penske, Paigow, Debtslave, or whomever is perpetrating this hoax. Peace out, brotha.

In a huge violation of TM rule 5555, I am skipping the whittling of this massive post (and I dont know whats more pathetic, that Less spent all this time writing it or that I spent all this time reading it). Anyway, I have never said "dearie" ever to my recollection. Maybe "dear" or "dearest" but not dearie.

Also, I would never make a sock of something I was once known for. Especially BB bikinies which are so 1999 (and this sock, if it were real, would know that). I say the signoffs say penske all the way., Thats a failproof way of iding a penske sock imo.