Quote:
Originally posted by Penske_Account
3. You have a relationship that is serious at its core. You decide to open the sex part, but you do so (a) without fully exploring the range of feelings that result; and relatedly (b) without being fully committed to the idea that sex is just sex, akin to golf or any other physicial pursuit. That is a recipe for trouble.
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I think your sex is just sex thing is a fallacy here. In the context of an intimate relationship ,it's not just sex. If you are going to open up the sex life but maintain the intimacy, you have to retain the sense that there is something unique about this person, including in the sexual context, that makes you want to be with him or her exclusively. If you are opening up the sex part by having threesomes, the idea should be to invite another person in for purposes of exciting both people in the relationship, not to push one of them out. You simply can't pretend it's purely physical in the context of a serious relationship, becaue it's interwoven with other intimacy. And, as I said above, I would hope that kind of intimacy would be strong enough to keep both people from verbally rejecting the other at critical moments.
