Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
I think your sex is just sex thing is a fallacy here. In the context of an intimate relationship ,it's not just sex. If you are going to open up the sex life but maintain the intimacy, you have to retain the sense that there is something unique about this person, including in the sexual context, that makes you want to be with him or her exclusively. If you are opening up the sex part by having threesomes, the idea should be to invite another person in for purposes of exciting both people in the relationship, not to push one of them out. You simply can't pretend it's purely physical in the context of a serious relationship, becaue it's interwoven with other intimacy. And, as I said above, I would hope that kind of intimacy would be strong enough to keep both people from verbally rejecting the other at critical moments.
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I think if you have good communications you can do anything you want. Is the sex between the couples part of a larger intimacy? Yes. I agree with that. I also agree thatl, on a limited basis, if you open things up, you may be able to limit the experiences to only those encompassing shared intimacy, where there is an equivalent of enjoyment and return. However, I also think you are better off trying to examine and define whether you can get to a place where the sex is just sex compartmentalized from the larger intimacy. You run less of a risk of problems. This assumes, really good knwoledge of yourself, the relationship and really good and open communications. Not things necessarily found in all relationships. Even committed ones.
