Quote:
Originally posted by dtb
There's a list?!?
Where can I get a copy? Supermarket checkout?
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Right next to
InStyle. From TMQ:
Once Again, It Seems Nothing Is Sexy Now: Each year, TMQ scans newsstands for the September "What's Sexy Now?" issue of InStyle, the celeb-lifestyle magazine that's thick enough to be the hearing record of the John Roberts nomination. Owing to hundreds of ads, this September's "What's Sexy Now?" issue of InStyle is 602 pages long; The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton is 381 pages. Future historians will surely study the "What's Sexy Now?" issues of InStyle to understand how 21st century society made sex sound so completely ridiculous it's a wonder anyone bothers to do it.
There's nothing immature about the stunning beauty Jennifer Garner.
This year's "What's Sexy Now?" issue has Jennifer Garner as cover star. Remarkably, InStyle's photographers manage to make this very beautiful woman look ordinary, while the text makes her seem a vacuous dolt. InStyle declares Garner "an accidental sex kitten" because she "giggles when she puts on lingerie." The magazine explains that she refers to her breasts as "biscuits." InStyle quotes an admirer of Garner as saying, "She's warm, generous and such a girl," the italics original. What, she's immature? This is what her admirers say?
After the cover piece, the "What's Sexy Now?" issue tumbles downhill to its annual inventory of celebrity turn-ons. Jessica Alba declares her turn-on is imagining she is President of the United States and sitting in the Oval Office surrounded by handsome aides who await her every instruction. Jessica, the whole sex-in-the-Oval-Office thing didn't really work out for Bill Clinton. Patrick Dempsey declares that car racing is "a metaphor for love" because of "the sound, the speed." Patrick, your love life involves spinning out of control and hitting walls. Joan Allen says she likes to have sex in a cornfield because of "the rustling sound." Maybe Dempsey and Allen should make out in a race car parked in a cornfield. Sean Combs declares that "a person's eyes reveal the truth, that's why I wear shades." This leaves us to wonder what he's hiding.
Matthew McConaughey loves to see a little grace in the rear.
Kelly Ripa and husband Mark Consuelos report their sex-fantasy game is for her to dress up like one of Charlie's Angels while he dresses up like a motorcycle cop; he pretends he has pulled her over and she has to get out of the ticket. Um, it would have been sexier if they'd kept that to themselves. Matthew McConaughey declares that if a woman has a "perfect backside" but "moves without grace," he's turned off. Thanks for sharing your high standards. Teri Hatcher shares that her navel is "an area of my body that I've struggled with liking." Hatcher goes on to say that Paris is "the sexiest destination, but not in an obvious way," while her "sexiest moment" is to be at a nightclub dancing all by herself.
http://www.nfl.com/news/story/8898660
