Forums

[dtb]

I found this amusing (it's from the New York Post):

• Pride & Prejudice
  Austen Powers.
  Running time: 128 minutes. Rated PG (mild thematic elements). At the Lincoln Square, the Kips Bay, the Landmark Sunshine, others.
  
  LISTEN up, guys, have I got a flick for you: It's all about money, sex and slammin' babes in saucy-wench get-ups, and it goes down in the same country that gave us Led Zeppelin and the Clash. This weekend, forget "Jarhead" - two hours of guys playing grab-ass in the shower and no chicks. If you're lucky, you can con your girlfriend into seeing "Pride & Prejudice."
  
  The Bennets are a family of four raging hotties (one mope's thrown in for contrast) looking for action in the randy years of the Regency - before that whole Janet Jackson crackdown on sex. The two girls most worthy of knocking boots with are sarcastic Elizabeth and sweet Jane, played by Keira Knightley (No. 53 on Maxim's Hot 100 List this year, down from No. 18 last year - she's 20 years old, guys, catch her before she wrinkles up) and Rosamund Pike, respectively. Brunette or blonde, spicy or sweet, Radcliffie or Tri-Delt sister - one of these two will get your knickers in a twist, no matter what your type.
  
  Their dad is played by Donald Sutherland, the stoned college prof from "Animal House." He's just as funny here, always ragging on the old lady (blithering Brenda Blethyn), and unlike the rest of the cast he doesn't fuss too much with the Brit accent. Oh, and batting cleanup there's a cameo from M herself, Dame Judi Dench, and does she ever go yard in the few minutes she gets to swing the bat.
  
  Elizabeth and Jane are looking to get hooked up in the meat markets of the country-party scene, which is sort of like a rainier Hamptons only without the risk of getting sideswiped by Billy Joel. Two rich guys with crazy frat-brotha names have target-locked on them: goofy redhead Bingley (Simon Woods), who's kind of like a funny Carrot Top, and hard guy Darcy (Matthew Macfadyen), who's so tough that he won't smile or dance. Their game is gold, baby. They're like Wedding Crashers who don't have to do the hora.
  
  Jane tumbles hard for Der Bingster while you-make-me-dizzy Miss Lizzie swaps putdowns with Darhead. The mercury is spiking so fast around these four that you and all the other dudes crammed into the theater will be screaming, "Get a room!"
  
  But working from a book by 19th-century fox Jane Austen, director Joe Wright (how many helmers have manlier names than that?) has engineered a big, intricately designed, fast-moving Hummer of a plot - again unlike "Jarhead," which is all, "And then this happened! And then this happened!"
  
  Before they can get on with the getting it on, the two top guns have to blast away at all things heinous. There's a preachy little nerd named Mr. Collins who's panting in Elizabeth's general direction, a cash crunch (even the girls' house is in play, like it's an off da hook round of Texas Hold 'Em), and a ponytailed metrosexual named Wickham who says things like, "I have very good taste in ribbons." But the director jukes and spins his way through it all as righteously as LaDainian Tomlinson vs. the Jets' linebackers.
  
  Here's the beauty part: The ending is a weddingpalooza. You know what that means, hussy hounds. Everyone gets a lusty license to no-limit nooky, forever and ever.