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Lessons learned by RT, so you don't have to
Immediately throw away the tights that have shot elastic at the waist band.
Do NOT rationalize their retention in the sock drawer with the idea that you'll wear them under trousers instead of skirts so the elastic waistband doesn't really matter.
I've been pulling at my crotch all day trying to get these damned things back up, and walking has been an interesting adventure. I feel like my six-year-old sister at my aunt's wedding, who spent the entire ceremony standing on the altar pulling at her tights through her blue taffita dress for a full hour and a half long Catholic mass. My uncle says watching her squirm and trying not to laugh was the only thing that got him through the ceremony.
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"In the olden days before the internet, you'd take this sort of person for a ride out into the woods and shoot them, as Darwin intended, before he could spawn."--Will the Vampire People Leave the Lobby? pg 79
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