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Misc. discussion of dating dilemma
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This all reminds me of a (single, male) friend in a similar dilemma some years ago.
This guy, a pretty good friend of the Mr.'s and mine, had a big crush on this bitch. Unrequited except to the extent she needed to lead him on to keep him interested and inflating her ego, but she was a total bitch and no one could figure out what he saw in her. Anyhow, it was his birthday, and we were all sitting around in our local bar hanging out and drinking, and he said "it's my birthday." We all said "happy birthday!" and he said "I'm feeling like a spot of dinner; [Bitch], would you like to have dinner with me to celebrate?" He clearly wanted dinner alone with the Bitch, and was clearly figuring that as a birthday boon, she'd be more likely to say yes. (Not inviting the rest of us was actually OK, since everyone knew of his unrequired crush and was aware of the way in which it had fucked his judgment, so no one took it personally.) However, the Bitch immediately said "OK, DebtSlave and Mr. Slave, you have to come too!" Well, the friend gave us that "god dammit! Don't you dare!" look, but the Mr. and I looked at each other and simultaneously thought "dude, you are so going to need us to get your back with this Bitch, and it's your birthday and the idea of this Bitch being mean to you is unacceptable, particularly in your fragile unrequited state" so we said yes.
Anyhow, we were glad we did. We managed to keep the dinner light and cheerful and kept flattering the birthday boy and talking him up in front of the Bitch, and cutting her off when she was getting nasty.
Then the bill came, and there was a missing beat. (I should note that this friend was an utterly penniless novelist who couldn't even afford to buy his own drinks and smokes, but also was too proud to accept obvious charity in terms of food. But he needed to be fed, badly, he was 6 foot 2 and weighed 135 soaking wet.) I was vaguely expecting the Bitch to snag the check, given that it was our friend's birthday and she was the one who invited us, but she didn't (of course). So I grabbed it, and announced that I was treating for his birthday. He said the obligatory "no, no, you can't" and I said "of course I can" and he said "no, no, you bought me dinner last night" (which I had), and I said "but last night wasn't your birthday," and he relented with a really heartbreaking smile that I will always remember, which said "I may be in love with a mean Bitch who just seems to enjoy humiliating me in front of God and everyone, but it is comforting to know I have friends who look out for me."
Fucking bitch not only didn't offer to chip in on his dinner, she let me pay for hers. Fucking bitch.
BR(the story seemed entertaining and vaguely applicable)C
