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[Replaced_Texan]

Originally Posted by Diane_Keaton

I agree STRONGLY. I don't mean to be unrealistic or downplay the complexity of a man, but the mere lack of contact by him makes me think he's just not *that* interested. I've always heard that if a man is truly interested, he'll make the effort to contact you even if "he's just coming out of a relationship" or "he was recently hurt by a woman", etc. I mean, some guys don't even let marriage get in the way of pursuing a woman romantically (not just sexually).

Years back I had the chance to test this theory myself. I'm usually the dumper and not the dumpee but.....one time I was dating a guy who had recently gotten out of a long marriage (one he wanted out of for a long time but complicated b/c they had a kid). He ALWAYS called me and not vice versa and never did things with his own convenience in mind (he would drive an hour to pick me up to bring me to an event out in his neck of the woods instead of me taking just taking a bus out there). He'd be scheming our next weekend together before the first one was over. One weekend he didn't. And he didn't call Monday or Tuesday,etc. When he finally called on Friday, I was very nice and chipper. But I already knew it was over and that he was no longer that interested. It SUCKED but I knew it by Wednesday. Of course I said nothing about what I knew, and we had a nice chat. He didn't ask to get together that weekend (but also didn't say he held other plans, which would have prevented it). He just called, we chatted and he said "talk soon." I knew that if we ever spoke again (we didn't), I'd have to be the one to call. One friend insisted I pursue him b/c "he's probably rusty with the dating game" and "just shy". I disagreed and lo and behold a month later, I found out he was hot and heavy on the dating scene and was acting 100% confident in himself and in hot pursuit of the woman of his dreams. My feeling is he met some gals he found hot (I am average) and decided to make a try for a certain type without stringing me along. He was not very attractive but he wanted what he wanted.

Don't accept anything lukewarm. I've never cared if the guy is hot or makes good money, but he's gotta be funny, reliable and totally 100% for me.

Huh. That pretty much mirrors how my ten month relationship with someone getting out of a long term marriage went. Except I was clueless and didn't pick up on the noncommunication part and was shocked to shit when I was later dumped on my ass. Within a year of dumping me, he'd bought a house with someone else.