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[Icky Thump]

Michael Jackson hasn't been this stiff since Macully Culkin spent the night at Neverland Ranch.

* Because Jackson's body was 95% plastic, he will be melted down and turned into legos, this way kids can play with him for a change.

* Reports that Michael Jackson has died of a heart attack in his home are untrue, He actually died having a stroke in the children's ward.

* In the spirit of recycling, Michael Jackson will be melted down into plastic party cups so kids can still get their lips around his rim.

* In accordance with Michael Jackson's will, little boys pants shall be flown at half-mast today.

* Doctors are looking into claims that MJ's death could have been caused by an allergic reaction from eating 12 year old nuts.

* I heard Michael Jackson died of food poisoning from eating a 5 year old wiener.

* Micheal Jackson will always be with us he is not biodegradable.

* Farrah Fawcett arrived at the Pearly Gates and God asked her what he could do for her having led such an honest life. Farrah asked God to simply make sure the children of the world were safe. Five minutes later, Michael Jackson died.

* MJ's dying wish was to be melted down and turned into straws so he can still get sucked on by kids.

* It has been released that MJ's last wish was that he wants to be melted down and made into a slide so kids can go down on him forever.

* In memory of MJ's death, McDonald's is coming out with the new "McJackson". It's 50 year old meat between 12 year old buns.

* Michael Jackson's ashes are going to be put in an Etch A Sketch so kids can still twiddle his knob.

* Michael Jackson's death has now been ruled a suicide. Apparently doctors told him that the only way he could get whiter is if he died.

* Only in America can someone be born a poor black kid, and die a rich white woman.
* To MJ, a perfect "10" was two five year olds...

* Madonna sent her condolences to the Jackson family. Then asked how much they wanted for the kids.

* Breaking News: Casper the friendly ghost was molested in the early hours of this morning!

* Michael Jackson's last words: "Take me to the Children's Hospital!"

* What was Michael Jacksons last hit? The floor!