Quote:
Originally Posted by notcasesensitive
Thanks, guys! It is helpful to hear the advice to step back. I probably will try one heart-to-heart with her at some point (when I've recovered from the most recent visit a bit), because I feel I would regret it if I sat by silently and something bad happened, which is the way this seems to be heading. I've realized over the last few years that she is incapable of being a friend to me, so I'm comfortable with the relationship fading away, though I'd like to know there are some people who are there for her, because she really is pretty isolated at this point.
Partial responses to points you guys raised:
(1) She has cats. And her parents live about an hour away from her. And she has a roommate. Other than her boyfriend, I don't think she has any close friends.
(2) I think when we were closer friends I was unaware of any of these issues. There were probably clues of neediness and I knew her mom was an alcoholic, but I only knew her when she was happily in a relationship, so many of the self-worth problems became apparent when that relationship went away.
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my 2 bits- for you to have typed all that you did, and travelled to see her, means that what she once meant is too much for you to just walk away. I mean you describe going to see someone whom you cannot say 1 good thing about, so there must be some solid history.
when you talk to her consider saying that you've seen the change, and frankly where she is now makes it hard to remember why you ever were friends. try to remind her of what she had that was positive and say some guy/booze ain't worth her changing all that about herself.
or just walk
