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[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by ironweed

Yes, and the kids will have great material for their first books.

I've always blamed my inability to write the great American novel on my parents' long and happy marriage. Do you know how hard it is to have to go out and collect all of your own traumas? By the time you're done, you don't even feel like writing about it anymore because you're old and busted like Thurgreed.

I was going through Lolita last week and I think I have the answer to your problem: Passive voice. You can run on for pages and pages saying nothing so long as you do it in passive voice.

It helps to have pedophilic undertones, or perhaps a whale somewhere in the book, but action's fungible. The shouting matches between your neighbors with the matching gold package Escalades should suffice as a plot vehicle of some sort.