Quote:
Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Man, sometimes I wish I had a penis. So I could wave it around and scare off the little people. Also so I could pee standing up at sporting events and concerts and bars where the restrooms are really gross.
But no. I don't have a penis. NTTAWWT.
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I could while away the hours
just like the Pretty Flower
Sparkin up the bong
And my nuts I'd be scratchin'
While my lust was busy hatchin'
If I only had a schlong
I'd say "hey" to every Betty
by PM or by IM
we would surely get along
With the thoughts I'd let fester
I could be another Lester
If I only had a schlong
Oh I could tell you why
men leave wet towels upon the floor
I could boink poor girls that I'd never boink before
And then I'd sleep
And boink some more
I would not be just a goil
like barely or Olive Oyl
Lip synching to Clay's song
I'd do e/o and do fringey
laugh at Hedwig's Angry Inchy
If I only had a schlong
Gosh it would be awful pleasin'
To not take the blame this season
No matter what went wrong
Then perhaps I'd make some rainin'
do some client entertainin'
If I only had a schlong
