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welcome to the world of other people's kids. With friends, you can gravitate toward those who share your basic attitudes and values re: parenting (i.e., those that impose a reasonable modicum of discipline on unruly kiddos). With family, you don't get the same range of choices.

In your shoes, if 2 year old starts acting like Godzilla, you might take it upon yourself to intervene by separating the kids, or telling her "no" yourself- you probably can't actually impose a punishment for minor offenses without ticking off your sister, but it certainly sends a message that you think the behavior is unacceptable and might prompt her to do the same. If there is hitting, you may be within your rights to pick up the 2 year old and put her in a time out or in her mom's lap so mom can handle it- you may ruffle some feathers, but if the alternative is feeling uncomfortable with your nieces hangin out with your daughter, its worth it IMHO. (And if sis is not around (i.e., you are running a playdate), you have carte blanche to impose a time-out whenever the 2 year old gets out of hand).

Also, for what its worth, when No. 2 was about that age (or a little younger) and had issues with his big sister or older cousins or neighbors, I often gave him the same message I gave them about sharing and other behaviors- it didn't mean a thing to him until later, but gave the older kids the message that the same rules were being applied to young and old, and that they really were the rules.

And remember, Vietbabe will be 2 and 3 soon as well, so have a little tolerance for imperfect parenting in an imperfect situation (a little- not enough to let your child be hit). If sis has a 2 year old and a 3 year old at once, she may even appreciate the help.