Forums

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

I'm terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your twins. I'm a little sorrowful thinking about it so what's below might be overstated accidentally.

You originally asked for "how to sell" a conflicted person — and I assumed that was your husband, not you. Now knowing your situation I'm conflicted about whether to sell. I've had more than my fair share of babies, and have tried to help as dot-commers thousands of miles from their parents have tried to go it alone here on the baby front. Nearly all of them moved "back home," usually shortly after the arrival of Child 2. Truth be told, I'm very enthusiastic about the kind of suburbia we've cultivated here on the Peninsula — if you doubt, look at the beating I happily took two Fridays ago from Sidd and Less — but it has only worked well when either one or both grandparents was also local or there was some other kind of kick-ass support system in place. For us, that took the form of local grandparents plus a hyperactively involved church community helping at all times. No offense, but if our peer group had been more heavily weighted toward DINKs and bohemian SF types who were 30 minutes away at best, I think we would have moved to Virginia by now to be closer to my wife's family. Having kids is a serious business and ours is the first generation to think we could do it thousands of miles from our hometowns (excepting Ma and Pa Wilder, I reckon) and it comes at an enormous toll — cobbled-together daycare arrangements, au pair drama, sick days off work out the wazoo. Being alone in the house with a baby while your rising star husband works nights is going to suck big time, and you'll have to stay committed to the decision it will be worth it in the long run, because during all the short runs on the way it will not seem worth it.

If the person you're convincing is you, I would recommend staying in Texas. Not because the Peninsula is not right, but because all places that are not with your extended family are equally wrong. If you're gung ho for SF but think the Peninsula is a different place, relax. The Peninsula is basically SF with parking and without the nightlife that is useless to young parents anyways. Yes, we're all soccer moms, but there's a place for cool-ass soccer moms in this world, and SF is a place where even the supposedly uncompromising liberals put their kids in $30K private schools, so don't take advice from anyone who is living a life there that you cannot.

If you need advice about cities or school districts, hit me up on FB chat — I wouldn't want to offend Flinty.

I have a lot to say about all of this and I think I come out in a different place, but I'm not sure I want to post it all on the interwebs, so I may take this off-line, as they say. So sorry about the twins.