Quote:
Originally Posted by Adder
Yup. I can't do anything about how she feels about someone else. If there's something I/we need to fix, then okay, let's work on that. Jealousy is not productive, and letting it drive you to insist that she stop whatever is bothering you is not going to make the situation better.
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Uh...what the fuck are you talking about? "Jealousy is not productive?" That's brilliant. This is why I think you're full of shit. Jealousy isn't a thought process that one can avoid engaging in. It's involuntary, especially if it's based on something real that's going on.
And, yeah, you absolutely insist she stop seeing the other guy. It's not an either/or proposition. We work on our shit
and you stop talking to the other guy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adder
And in your scenario if she just prefers him to me, that fucking sucks and I hate it, but okay, bye.
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It's not necessarily a matter of her completely preferring him to you. If that's the case, you're fucked anyway. It's a matter of her connecting with someone in an inappropriate way. I don't necessarily buy this idea that if you're attracted to someone there is something inherently wrong with your relationship. Sometimes it's just something new or chemical or different. But the question becomes: Where do you draw the line? I think everyone has a "Know it when you see it" standard of what is not acceptable when it comes to intimacy with someone outside the relationship. If you say that you're okay with your SO doing anything and everything with another guy as long as there's
then I'll just put you in the "you're kidding yourself" category that I used to think consisted of just Atticus and move on.
TM
