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Re: I used to be disgusted, and now I try to be amused.
Dateline Washington DC
Thousands of pundits, pollsters, prognosticators, lobbyists, journalists, and bureaucrats were herded into Farragut Square this morning as dawn broke. In a light rain, the crowd of confused men and women, still wearing the suits they had on from Tuesday evening, were then forced onto 14th Street and driven from Washington, over the 14th Street bridge, out of the city. Many were seen weeping.
Their tormentors, wearing “Trump that Bitch T-shirts and red baseball caps, prodded them with automatic weapons, which are now for sale at 7-11. “Gonna get me a bazooka next week,” crowed one enthusiast. The armed personnel claimed to be carrying the corpse of Andrew Jackson as an inspiration. A brass band, known as The Trumpettes, marched and played enthusiastically, if not always on key.
Career Democrats, stunned by the fact that they had nominated the one candidate who could be beaten by a serial bankrupt confessed pervert, were seen drinking, prostrate, in alleys near the Capitol. See sidebar story: Vice President Joe Biden Put On Suicide Watch.
One Democrat, however, was deliriously happy. Drinking vintage champagne from the bottle, he slurred that he had placed his entire securities portfolio in S&P puts last Friday. “I remembered that nobody ever went broke underestimating the American people. I figured Hillary would lose. When the market opens Wednesday, I will have made enough to buy the property next to Mar-a-Lago.”
A solitary Republican was seen thrashing about his Capitol Hill office, throwing lamps, paperweights, interns, and anything else he could grab. New Jersey Congressman Scott Garrett, former Chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, was defeated by a political novice. Mr. Garrett, whose political policies have been described as far to the right of Rush Limbaugh, lost to a political novice.
Meanwhile, calmer civil servants arrived at their offices throughout Washington to begin their workdays. Several were heard to be singing a line from “We Don’t Get Fooled Again” by The Who: “Meet the New Boss, Same As the Old Boss…”
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