Quote:
Originally Posted by Adder
Yes, Sebby, there are lots of stupid takes out there. You're doing a good job of sharing the worst of them.
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Look, dude... I read the Babe thing. I read the texts Ansari exchanged with her as well.
I see no sin in Grace putting her story out there. She did, and the public has properly criticized her for it (because it's not a #metoo situation). Seems an appropriate response.
And, appropriately, Ansari is not going to lose his career over it.
In fact, one could say this story is a godsend. It has defined the boundary where #metoo cannot be accused. That's helpful. (And, thankfully, efforts by some to suggest Ansari's behavior should fall into a new category, #kindabutnotreallymetoo, has been rejected [Despite Vox's and Vice's efforts]).
Is Ansari a cad? Perhaps. Is Grace's story worth discussing because men should understand that, if you have to coerce the hell out of a woman, you should Just Stop? Absolutely.
But, is it a crime to manipulatively persuade someone into sex? No. Is it a #metoo situation if you nag a woman into having sex with you while you're both undressed and hooking up? No. Is pestering to the point a woman decides, "Fuck it. I'll just blow him so he'll stfu already and I can get back to watching
Seinfeld" a
mens rea moment? No.
And does Grace's story infantilize women? Yes, it does. He had no control over this woman. Could not tank her career as she worked in a different area. Could not physically compel her to anything (he weighs all of a buck twenty), and nor did he try. She could have left at any time she wanted. In many regards this instance sounds like the joke Chappelle took shit for -- the one where he asked, quite reasonably, why a woman who claimed to be offended by a man masturbating on the other end of a phone didn't "just hang up."
Ansari may be a cad. But so are a lot of people. It's worth talking about this stuff. But it isn't #metoo.
