Quote:
Originally Posted by Adder
Your obsession keeps turning up good ones. As for the encounters described in this one, we are apparently even more fucked up about sex than I thought.
Although I guess I should know that from some of what my wife has said about past relationships too.
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This topic is a very interesting one to me.
I know women who have been raped. I know too many women who have been sexually assaulted. I have schooled friends and acquaintances many,
many times on how differently people can react in dangerous situations--and how fighting back isn't always prudent or possible (fear often makes people just freeze) and the lack of it shouldn't be a sign of consent. Similarly, agreeing to sex isn't an automatic green light for the guy (or woman) to do whatever the fuck they want. It is absolutely amazing how many men think that once a woman wants to fuck an athlete it means she can no longer either remove consent or define exactly what type of sex she wants. I've lost friendships over arguments about Kobe fucking Bryant.
I have been in situations in which I have been aggressive (hopefully reading my partner well), I have been in positions where the woman I'm with is very aggressive. (I don't think either of us would appreciate the other person going off and blabbing to other people about it, by the way.) I've had women tell me specifically that we wouldn't be having sex at all only to have them completely and enthusiastically change their minds after getting into it hot and heavy.
I have also been in a position where I picked a woman up from a Minneapolis club (looooong ago--I was maybe 21), took her back to a friend's place with the explicit understanding that there would be some sexing, only to find out I was completely mistaken and the girl only want to fool around. She was also very young (probably 20 or 21 also) and I sat her down and told her that it was no problem, of course. But she really needed to be much more careful (hopefully without coming off as a condescending, paternalistic ass). She had no idea where she was or who I was and when we drove her home the next day, it turned out she was an
hour away from her home. I was very nervous for her.
TM
