Under the topic of "you learn something new every day", buried in the last phrase of Article 5 of the Constitution, that document can be amended any old way with the exception of the fact that "no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate."
The small states drove a hard bargain and wanted to make sure it was kept.
So lets try this instead:
The Cash and Carry Campaigns
I.
The two men had played bridge with one another for many years. They had become fast friends. They were philosophically compatible, had a similar sense of humor, and shared the same general view of the world. In fact, they both thought the world was going to hell in a handbasket.
They were also rich beyond reason. Excluding a couple of oil sheiks, they were the two wealthiest men on the planet.
They had tried philanthropy, and had done good works all around the world. And still, the world seemed spinning out of control. When they discussed the federal government, it was all the two men could do not to rage at the absolute paralysis of the Executive and Legislative branches. One evening, they tried to figure out how to set things in Washington on a productive path. Beverages were involved, so the two men were simultaneously in their cups and "outside the box."
"So, Warren, here’s my plan. You get two Senate seats. I get two. Steve gets his two as well. Suddenly, we have a voting block of six seats that could swing any vote in the Senate, and therefore any piece of legislation in the country."
"Sounds fine, Bill, but the very act of campaigning turns you into one of the people we despise."
"I have no intention of campaigning."
"Makes it a bit tough to win the election, then, doesn’t it?"
"Not at all. I intend to buy the two seats, fair and square."
Warren sighed and rolled his eyes.
"I’m serious, Warren. Just do the math, and follow along. My net worth is pretty astronomical Therefore with two percent of my net worth. I am prepared to offer a two million dollars apiece to each of the 500,000 current residents of Wyoming if they will leave the state by September. That will cost me a small fraction of my wealth. Those people who move will not have to forfeit their property. They will merely have to establish a legal voting residence elsewhere."
"That’s preposterous, Bill. Who would take you up on this?"
"Who would be stupid enough NOT to take my money? I would write each person a check upon seeing proof that they had established a residence in a different state. Sure, not every single person would leave, but it would take an awful lot of willpower to resist a couple of million bucks apiece."
"You’re serious."
"Absolutely."
II.
"I Want Everybody Out By Tuesday !" The headline on the Casper Star Tribune was accompanied by a cartoonish picture of the man who would pay every last one of them two million dollars apiece. The press conference had actually been calmer than Bill had expected. Doing his homework had paid off. Establishing a New Casper development in northern Arizona allowed neighbors to remain neighbors, and pictures of the first new transplanted inhabitants of New Casper lounging around their swimming pool was a stroke of genius. The brand new school building even had the same teachers the students had the previous year. The Arizona real estate market, which had cratered during the subprime mortgage disaster, rebounded sharply.
III.
Using New Casper as a blueprint, Bill’s bridge partner Warren made the citizens of flood ravaged North Dakota an offer they couldn’t refuse. He developed the South Fargo Estates in New Mexico. The development was so successful that additional people wanted to live in South Fargo estates, and Warren accommodated them. He actually made a profit on the entire deal, taken as a package. Their colleague Steve had plans to established Sioux Falls South on the Texas Gulf Coast, but he passed away before he could implement the project. A preposterously young billionaire, Mark, and his wife, took over the project. The citizens of Montana and Idaho were actively entertaining similar bids. Law firms throughout the nation’s northern tier took up specialization in negotiating specific "diaspora agreements".
IV.
After the inevitable lawsuits were dismissed, the three new Senators, and their Senator spouses, were elected and sworn in over a six year period.. The blogosphere, the newspaper headlines, and the people of the other 47 states could speak of little else. Most people thought the concept was somehow wrong, but nobody could identify a victim. Politicians from the other states fell over each other to curry favor with the Six Oligarchs, given the financial benefits of being an Oligarch Friend.
V.
Wyoming soon became the windmill capital of the world. North Dakota became a giant solar collector. South Dakota capitalized on both sources of clean power. The "temporary workers" in the three states established "formal" residences in other states with little or no state income tax, and were happier than ever before. Much of the farmland returned to nature; the idea of a "Great Commons" on the plains was taking hold. Ted, a wealthy friend of the Six Oligarchs, released 10,000 bison in the Dakotas. Although Ted was wealthy enough to join the program as a Senator-Investor, he declined to do so. His wife was considered unelectable.
