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Brett’s lament, or Tobin, PJ, and Squi.
With apologies to Abraham, Martin, and John
Has anybody here
seen my old friend Tobin?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
He bounced a lotta quarters,
but it seems the keg died young
And I just woke up and he was gone.
Has anybody here
seen my old friend Squi?
Is he still bangin’ that hot blonde?
Judge called her hot to trot,
though a little young, he thought
But I just came to, and she is gone.
Has anybody here
seen my old friend PJ?
Is he passed out on the lawn?
He crowned me “Ralph the King,”
Played varsity, though second string,
Drank Everclear, and now he's gone.
Didn't you love their douchebag habits?
Didn't they try to find some strange for you and me?
And I’ll be confirmed,
Someday soon it's gonna be my day.
Has anybody here
seen my old friend Donny?
Can you tell me if he bought it?
I thought I saw him walkin' into the locker room
With Tobin, PJ, and Squi.
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