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Originally posted by mmm3587
I can't remember the last time I sat around with white guys and talked about being white.
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It would be nice to put you in a position where you would understand, but I bet (from your failure to apply any lesson you would have picked up from it) you've never put yourself in such a position.
Do me a favor, go hang out a Wu Tang concert or a black church fundraiser or an NAACP meeting or on the block in the projects. Then come back to me and tell me all about how easily you fit in. Of course you don't sit around talking about being white. But my sitting in a boardroom at a closing filled with white people should be as uncomfortable for me as doing one of those things would be for you. You may not be intimidated (although I doubt that), but you will notice the differences between you and everyone else in the room and you will do your best to let everyone know that you share certain things with them that would allow them to accept you. I do that shit all the time, so I'm better at it than you. The difference is, I
have to do it at work (among other places). You do not. You would have to go out of your way to put yourself in a similar situation.
Quote:
Originally posted by mmm3587
Is that really what an intraracial mentor/mentee relationship is primarily based on? Race? People sit around saying "Let me give you some good 'being a black lawyer' tips."?
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Believe it or not, yes. A lot of the times, you discuss how to deal with racial problems. How to get along with someone who has said something that is objectively offensive and how to not let it impact your work and what to do to diffuse a potentially harmful situation.
My first summer, I had an inhouse job at a large company. Back then I used to shave my head in the summer (easier maintenance and it gets hot). I shaved my head like the second week and my (unofficial) mentor sat me down and told me that the look wouldn't be considered professional, that in this atmosphere, I should have come to talk to him about it first, etc. Sure enough, the next few days, I got comments from no less than 3 (white) superiors on it. Things like, "Is that a street look?" That's one example. I can give you many, many others, but I doubt it would do any good.
Quote:
Originally posted by mmm3587
I have this fantasy that the decisions at my firm are based on merit and politics and interpersonal relationships. And I don't see any demographic being excluded from it. Really.
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Excellent fantasy. I have the same one.
Quote:
Originally posted by mmm3587
Attracting and hiring candidates might be tough, but retention isn't. And my beef, then, is that I don't get all this great mentoring. I don't have anyone ask these questions I want to ask. Sure, I seek people out, and get the answers, but I've got no real desire to stay if a a better position comes along. And I'm offended that I'm not valued in that regard SOLELY because of my race.
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If you choose to leave the firm because you didn't get a mentor and some black guy did and you think that means the firm is somehow more invested in the future of the black associates than they are in yours, I bet they don't want you there anyway -- and it probably has more to do with your tenuous hold on reality than your work product. I say, good riddance.
Quote:
Originally posted by mmm3587
Well, I'm sorry that it's come to threats of violence, but at least I know to take any invitations to convene face to face with a grain of salt, since it sounds like you'll be plotting jumping me and beating me.
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Wrong. I would never kick your ass because you would never say the things you say on this board to my face. Mostly because I suspect you're a coward. "Plotting jumping you?" Ha. That's rich. Do you think I'd ask my black friends to case the joint we were meeting in, have them hide in the wings and just at the right moment leap out to get you?
I'm sorry you took it as a threat. What I wanted to convey was the fact that unlike on other occassions when things have gotten heated (with other people), you made it so personal that it went past debate and angered me on another level. But I don't really give a shit and it doesn't matter because we'll never meet. So sleep tight.
TM
