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[Hank Chinaski]

So, my son is a drug addict (not opiates thank goodness). So the wife and I have been going to something called Families Anonymous. It's a 12 step program that attempts to give one tools to deal with issues. The 12 steps for FA track the AA 12 steps, but are directed to the family instead of the addict.

Step 4 is take an inventory- AA for the addict. FA is for the parents- the inventory is listing faults you need to work on, then step 5+ you start dealing with fixing that shit.

I was just looking at the worksheet for it. It says everyone can list faults in others. It paraphrased what most people say, like we all sit and listen to others in the meetings listing their faults thinking "Yeah, you're right, that is a fault you have." But then we say, "ourselves, we really got nothing wrong."

Then it gives some techniques to work through getting to your list. One is "list a strength then list a fault," kind of sugar coating. Then once you're done, it again paraphrases, "what were we afraid of? admitting we got some work to do wasn't so bad after all."

Anyhoo it kind of tracked what typically happens when a white person is accused of racism- "yes those people are racist, but me, you know I'm not." But then it helped take the next step. There should be a worksheet to help people get through accepting their own racism.