Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower
There are a bunch of Young Pharaohs on Spotify, and it appears that virtually nobody listens to any artist named Young Pharaoh. I found one web site where it stated that Young Pharaohs’ music income was something like $62,500, or something similarly very small and oddly specific. How did CPAC land on this guy? Here’s how I imagine the meeting went:
CPAC1: So, we got Kanye booked?
CPAC2: Um, bad news, this is not a good time for him.
CPAC1: Shit, so just Lil’ Wayne?
CPAC2: Well, turns out he was just in it for the pardon.
CPAC1: Dammit, who else do we got?
CPAC2: Um . . . . . . . . .
[HOURS LATER]
CPAC1: What about Heavy D? He seemed like a decent sort.
CPAC2: He’s dead.
CPAC1: Oh. How about the Fat Boys?
CPAC2: Two thirds dead.
CPAC1: Tupac?
CPAC2: Seriously?
[MANY HOURS LATER]
CPAC1: What about the “Whoot There It Is” guys? Who were those guys?
CPAC2: 95 South. They declined.
CPAC1: How about the “Whoomp There It Is” guys?
CPAC2: Tag Team. Also declined.
CPAC1: Are you fucking serious? I just saw them on a GEICO commercial . . . .
[MANY MANY MANY HOURS LATER]
CPAC1: Who is “Young Pharoah”?
CPAC2: Dunno. Does it matter? He’s available. Should we vet him?
CPAC1: No, fuck it. Book him.
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Then there is the meeting where they figure out what to do about him:
CPAC1: Oh Shit, people are complaining because one of our speakers is a proud anti-Semite.
CPAC2: Jews whining again? So what?
CPAC1: Remember, we have to support Israel, it's in Revelations.
CPAC2: Yeah, but this conference is about free speech, we can't care about who we offend. I mean, we want to offend the libs.
CPAC1: He's black.
CPAC2: Well, ok, so we get rid of him, but can we get John Hagee to fill in, so the anti-Semites know we're still with them?
