Quote:
Originally Posted by Icky Thump
Hope all is well.
I am team "Control everything you possibly can" because there's enough fucked up shit out there beyond our control. I deal with it every day occupationally.
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Thanks. Given its size and bilateral presentation, odds are very much in my favor (if it were bad already, I'd have been done long ago... the concern is making sure it doesn't do something bad going forward).
I've been trying to control so much for so long I'm honestly getting tired. I stumbled back into mushroom use last year and recalled the part of my personality I'd known as a younger person. I totally get your point and I can't argue with the logic in the least. Controlling what one can makes sense. And Covid is probably one of those things worth controlling. But the rest of it? Well, I think it's time at this age to start saying "I don't care" to a lot of smaller items I've been controlling.
With age I think people having a lot of "programs running in the background" that take up mental bandwidth. They seemed important years ago so you just keep running them. Maybe it's holding onto relationships or affiliations that aren't worth it. Maybe its following certain routines that you're not sure why you follow anymore. Maybe it's just laddering shit in terms of serious importance. Putting the neuroses of stressing about details back at the bottom run where it belongs. Forgetting that irritating voice that's always carping, "the devil is in the details." He is. And that's the problem.
Time. Time is fucking important. Connecting with people. That's important. Being in the moment. Fuck, that's the most important of all.
I'm tired of being told to worry about this, worry about that. I'm tired of having people making me worried. So much of it is Just Bullshit. This is important, that's important. Must do this, must do that.
How about no? How about I'm going to say most of it is not important. It's detritus, clogging my bandwidth. I'm opening the Task Manager in my head and shutting down a whole lotta these fucking programs.
