Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
If something is not innocent enough for you to tell your SO where you are going, why do it? If you think that your SO would not condone your behavior either because s/he would be irrational or because s/he had reason not to condone it, isn't it important to communicate about that stuff?
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I'll field this one since all the other liars out there will just lie to you about ever doing something like this.
Meeting with an ex is inherently dangerous. I don't care on what terms you split or how good and platonic your friendship now is. You once fucked them and found them very attractive. It is highly likely that you will find them attractive again. This is how every SO in the world thinks about exes. Everyone who says otherwise is completely full of shit.
So, why go? Because you think you won't find them attractive enough to act on it and you enjoy their company even though it didn't work out with them. You have convinced yourself that you are mature enough to have an adult conversation with them without jumping their bones, etc.
It's not necessarily that you have evil plans that your SO need not know about. It's more like "Why not just save myself the headache of the drawn-out conversation over someone who matters enough to only rate a drink every year or so?" And before you say, "But you've created more work with the lie than the conversation would be," I'll have to say: Wrong. Because you will have the conversation then. You will have the conversation another half-dozen times too. And if you don't actually have that conversation over and over, the SO is going over it in their head on their own at least as many times.
TM
