Quote:
Originally posted by bilmore
I think the essential disagreement between camps here is, you shouldn't be making that choice for her. The burden is on you to convince her that nothing is going to happen. Coincidently, that's a lot easier to do before you ever get caught the first time lying about an innocent meet.
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All true. You have no argument from me. In a perfect world, no one lies to their perfect spouse about anything, because everything is always perfect.
But most people don't live in Utopia. And although all of the perfect women and men on this board seem to think that they would be 100% okay with a spouse having a few drinks with an ex, I think it's safe to say that I'm mainly correct that this is bullshit. They may think it's true, but when it actually happens, shit changes. The ones who would have no problem with it in hypoland suddenly have a problem with it and bring it up all the time in the real world. And while it isn't something that would ruin a relationship, it's easier on both people to not have to deal with it.
And the whole, if she finds out, she will completely lose trust thing is crazy too. If it really was innocent and you really did not tell her because you didn't want her to worry about it (or to avoid what I laid out above), she will most likely see this and you won't lose all that trust. She may think you used poor judgment, but if you had a really good relationship up until that point, I don't see how this would completely destroy it.
(And all those "perfects" don't mean that I'm mad, I'm just trying to make a point.)
TM
