Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Ok. Would your analysis/approach change at all if your SO had upfront, early in the relationship let you know that lying about that sort of stuff is unacceptable?
|
Interesting question. When I first met my husband, I was very suspicious and made it clear in no uncertain terms that I would not stand for lying, and cheating was a "one strike and you're out" offense. (He also learned early on that I'm a great detector of lies and the wrath that is unleashed upon my learning of the lie is not worth it.)
He, on the other hand, told me in no uncertain terms that were I ever to cheat on him, that he woudn't want to know about it.
Over the years, however, I realize that I'm not concerned about his cheating (not that I would encourage it, I think it's more that I don't think it would happen -- not because of me so much, but because, well... he's too cheap.**) In the highly unlikely scenario that he did cheat on me, I have definitely softened on the "1 strike and you're out" stance.
When he heard of Brittney's marriage -- he said, "Oh no, Now I don't have a chance" -- which prompted my response of -- "I see. So you have no problem cheating on me with her, but you all of a sudden would feel bad now that
she's married?" We both laughed. Such mirth at the dtb household...
**A friend told me about a study she'd read that the men least likely to stray are those who are, uh,
parsimonious, or, not to put too fine a point on it, tightwads. It's just too expensive for them to have action on the side. If this is true, I can rest assured that he will be forever faithful.
