Quote:
Originally posted by bilmore
You'll get lots of other advice, but, at the very least, be incredibly careful in the birth control area.
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Concur 110%.
While joint counselling, preferably with someone entitled to a prescription pad, sounds like an excellent idea, be aware that this could be in part (or large part) 7-year itch. Everyone knows on some level that relationships are cyclical - you're more or less interested, more or less in luuurve, feel more or less burdened or committed. Some people are sursprised to discover that the cycle may include down periods that are years long.
You love em, so it seems obviously worth working on until the sheer hopelessness of it all becomes apparent, which it doesn't sound like you think it is. Yet. But it would be stupid to increase your exit costs given the uncertainty.
Oh, and the antidepressants/anxiety meds - some of them decrease libido (some don't decrease libido but just decrease the ability to have orgasms, which sounds particularly sucky to me), but others don't and Drs. are getting more and more experience adjusting dosage and drug combos to minimize those effects. Another side effect, depending on what the spouse does or what em is like, is that they can have an overall leveling effect on the personality - this may be good and exactly the needed effect, or the spouse may lose some "edge" in some way that is particularly detrimental (people in particularly cereberal or imaginative fields, like artists and scientists, sometimes find this effect unacceptable). You won't know unless em tries, though. I sympathize - I don't even take asprin, generally, and I find the idea of antidepressants/etc to be particularly horrifying (images of Bedlam, Ritalin zombies, etc.). But I've also seen the benefits they can have and they can be wonderful. Maybe if em realized how distressed you are, em will be willing to try and you two can see if they work in em's situation.
