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men who wax
women dont like it
from salon
Quickie
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Great balls of fire!
According to Newsweek, straight men are getting the equivalent of the Brazilian bikini wax. But will hairless crotches turn women on -- or repulse them?
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By Rebecca Traister
Jan. 15, 2004 | This week, Newsweek published an article headlined "Brazilians for the Boys. No, Seriously." In it, writers Holly Peterson and Jenny Hontz uncover a potentially horrifying new craze: Straight guys who get their balls waxed. Sure, some gay men have been pruning the shrubbery for years. But according to this story, heterosexual men from coast to coast are appearing in droves at beauty salons where they pay professional groomers to pour hot wax on their wrinkly little jewels (along with the rest of their genital area), apply strips of cloth, and then let 'er rrrip.
After five years of hearing men extol the virtues of Brazilian bikini waxing -- the process in which women have every hair between their belly button and tailbone tugged violently from its subcutaneous cradle -- are we now entering an age in which they will be forced to down a spoonful of their own medicine? I have to be honest: I am delighted at the very thought.
Part of me always believed that the craze for women's Brazilians was prompted by a cruel practical joker disguised as Gwyneth Paltrow working in cahoots with the J Sisters, the Brazilian women who run the Manhattan torture chamber that introduced follicle-yanking to the masses. But as soon as the first publication printed the first series of interviews with straight boys about how pedophilically, sadistically luscious they found the sight of bald pubes, the porn-star pressure was on and we were all sunk.
The thing to do was find out if the whole Sore Thighs for the Straight Guy thing would provide straight chicks with the same illicit thrill as their male counterparts had gotten from Brazilians. Using a scientifically sound survey method, I called my friends.
"Wait, is this where men get that Brazilian torture thing, too? Good!" said Miranda, 33. There is a reason why we are so close. She gave it some thought and then continued. "I once went to this life drawing class and there was a Middle Eastern male model who had waxed down his entire body and was completely hairless. I couldn't even bear to look at him -- let alone draw him."
The more Miranda considered the procedure, the more repulsed she became: "I would rather have a man who was hairy from the nape of his neck to the bottom of his elbows than have a waxer," she sniffed. "Waxing is emasculating and effete in a way I just can't find sexually attractive, but I could get used to hairiness even if it's not my preference."
"It's foul in every way," said another friend, Heather, 27. "I think the level of pain has to be way beyond the feminine crotch rip because balls are supposed to be vomit-inducing sensitive, which implies a machismo vanity that is more repugnant than spray-on hair."
exactly.
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