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Baby I'm a Star
Ah, gotta love this sort of game. Good way to lose friends and win enemies.
Let's see....
AMM: Jane Kaszmarek
Sidd: Bradley Whitford
Tyrone: Ewan McGregor
Atticus: Ralph Fiennes
Flinty: Judd Nelson
Gattigap: David Hyde Pierce
sgtclub: Christopher Walken
74Otis: Ed O'Neill
Threads: Cate Blanchett
Me: I love Jeanene Garofalo. Or perhaps Kathy Griffin.
Can you just imagine the scintillating dialogue?
Scene I: Sidd as a young law student. He is going through his mail of the day. Lo! A ding letter, from Brobeck. To add insult to injury, the letter is incorrectly addressed, sent to Sid Fench. Sidd resolves to get his sweet revenge.
Scene II: Years later. Inside generic big law firm office with built-in desk and lateral file cabinet. Picture frame on desk still has picture of the generic photogenic family provided by the manufacturer in it. Sidd sits behind the desk, a broad grin spreading over his face as he clicks and clicks and clicks and clicks and... ok, enough, you get the point. [Tight closeup of his computer screen] He is reading the discussion of area law firms among the greedy associates, and begins to frantically type, each swipe of the keyboard like another bullet from his automatic weapon. He hits 'return' and laughs like no other madman has ever laughed before.
Scene III: Various associates gather at the Royal Exchange. Tyrone pulls up his bar stool, orders a gin and tonic. Threads and AMM are deep in discussion over whether Skeletor on The Practice or Gretchen Mol on whatever that crappy show that only made it for 3 episodes was did more of a disservice for the reputation of female lawyers everywhere. Cdeuced and Atticus discuss the nuances of the latest revisions of Manual of Style. Flinty is flirting with the female bartender. Sidd arrives. A cold wind sweeps through the crowd gathered. Sidd announces to the group, "it is done. Wilson and Brobeck are no more!! MOOOowwaahahahahaa." Everyone stops and stares, and then turns back to their conversations.
Sidd: Um, folks, hello? 2 of the biggest firms are no more around? Bueller?
Tyrone: Thanks for the newsflash. We knew that already. Read about it last night on the boards. So yesterday's news, dude. Get yourself a beer.
Atticus: You're way behind on this one. You partners think you're so smart, but really are just too antiquated in how you derive your information sources. Welcome to the new age of power research.
AMM: Aw, it's ok Sidd [bat eyelashes]. Let me buy you a beer.
Flinty: Partners suck.
Sidd: But it's because of me! Me! Me! I found Brobeck's achilles heels and exploited it! Mooowahahahahahaha!
C2ed: I'm glad you've decided to take up pedicures as your next career, but you need to lighten up on the No-Doz and get some rest, darlin'. You've been working too hard.
Sidd: No, really - listen to this [whereupon there is one of those sequences where it's clear time is passing, Sidd continues to talk for hours, various group members fall asleep, until Sidd is talking only to the bartender]. And that's how I made sure that Brobeck's lease could not be re-negotiated and that they accumulated massive, crushing debt. Oh, and I convinced Zager with the help of some margaritas that Akin Gump was much easier for his kids to draw. .... Sigh... no one appreciates good revenge anymore.
C(ok, so that crappy screenplay wouldn't even get shown at SlamDance, but it could've happened)deuced
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