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I'm rethinking the whole daycare center thing. There are structured activities there, and lots of workers and other kids. I'm coming to think that the Nanny environment is too conducive to abuse and neglect.
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I am so sorry you and the babe had to go thru this. For what its worth, I have always preferred center-based care for children too young to accurately report what happens during the day. I had a nanny once, for about 4 weeks, until she did something stupid (not mean or abusive, but careless and unacceptable), and I put the baby in a center. It is not the impersonal, institutional environment some envision. The day care workers might not "love" your child the way you or your family does, but in a good center they love children, and there is just no substitute (IMHO) for the accountability and professionalism of a place where teachers and parents are in and out all day long. Having said that, I've pulled a child from a center, when it became clear that the particular teachers in the particular room were simply inattentive to her personality and development (when they told me at 3 she wasn't yet talking in sentences, which hadn't been true for over a year, I realized pretty quickly that she had no meaningful interaction with them).
As to next steps: the nanny I had that did the stupid thing actually did it in such a way that attracted the attention of the DSS. Through that process, I found out the DSS keeps the report and the investigation results on file for her as a provider, which will at least keep her from ever being licensed to provide child care. It doesn't solve the classified ad problem, but if you instigate a report, it might scare her out of pursuing this as a career.
Good luck, and please don't feel like you are settling for second best if you find a good, caring center for Viet babe.
