Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
Hank, take time out, in the corner, five minutes. If you can't read your watch, count to 300. I'd say count slowly if I thought you were capable of working quickly with such big complicated numbers.
(Troublemaker.)
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This reminded of Ask President Carter, an SNL skit with Dan Akroyd as Carter and Bill Murray as Walter Cronkite:
Walter Cronkite: Do you have a question for the President?
Peter (on phone): Uh.. I, uh.. I took some acid.. I'm afraid to leave my apartment, and I can't wear any clothes.. and the ceiling is dripping, and uh.. I, uh..
Walter Cronkite: Well, thank you very much for calling, sir..
President Jimmy Carter: Just a minute, Walter, this guy's in trouble. I think I better try to talk him down. Peter?
Peter (on phone): Yeah..?
President Jimmy Carter: Peter, what did the acid look like?
Peter (on phone): They were these little orange pills.
President Jimmy Carter: Were they barrel shaped?
Peter (on phone): Uh.. yes.
President Jimmy Carter: Okay, right, you did some orange sunshine, Peter.
Peter (on phone): Very good of you to know that, sir.
President Jimmy Carter: How long ago did you take it, Peter?
Peter (on phone): Uh.. I don't know. I can't read my watch.
President Jimmy Carter: Alright, Peter, just listen. Everything is going to be fine. You're very high right now. You will probably be that way for about five more hours. Try taking some vitamin B complex, vitamin C complex.. if you have a beer, go ahead and drink it..
Peter (on phone): Okay..
President Jimmy Carter: Just remember you're a living organism on this planet, and you're very safe. You've just taken a heavy drug. Relax, stay inside and listen to some music, Okay? Do you have any Allman Brothers?
