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Advances in teleportation technology
Years ago, I discovered that one can instantaneously teleport 50 to 100 feet if one suddenly comes across a snake in the wild. Depending on the person being teleported, the technology can work just using a little harmless grass snake, though dangerous, poisonous snakes can increase the distance considerably.
I don't know what kind of snake the researchers used with me this weekend, because the teleportation technology kicked in as soon as my mind registered "snake!" I do know that I was a good quarter of a mile down the road in an instant. I wasn't even winded.
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"In the olden days before the internet, you'd take this sort of person for a ride out into the woods and shoot them, as Darwin intended, before he could spawn."--Will the Vampire People Leave the Lobby? pg 79
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